


The Wedding DJ

by goddess_of_time_and_magic



Category: Ghost Adventures (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, Cheating, Explicit Sexual Content, Forbidden Love, Ghost Hunting, Longing, Love, M/M, Pain, Secret Relationship, Tattoo, Writing, soulmate, time jump., visible soulmate mark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-03-27 13:23:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 24,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13881747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddess_of_time_and_magic/pseuds/goddess_of_time_and_magic
Summary: The black writing appears on his wrist when he is fourteen and he knows it is his soulmates, but not all love stories end in happily ever after.





	1. | Prologue +Author's Note |

  **AUTHOR’S NOTE:**

Time is a little off in this fic, as I had to bend reality to the prompt. So, everything in the beginning years of GA occur a couple years before actually happen, but the time in which they actually took place is off. Zak and Nick met in the early 2000’s and I changed it so they meet in 1995 instead. GA is started in 2008 and I changed it to the late 1990’s. I tried to keep the events the same from various interviews and their books. Took a long time to piece everything together, but I'm not perfect so some things could have happened later or sooner than they actually did.   
I am just filling in some gaps and changing when they occur and, of course, adding the romance between Zak and Nick.

  ~~ **CHAPTERS WILL BE POSTED TWICE WEEKLY ON Tuesday AND Thursday!  
(Wednesday and Friday- depending on where you live)**~~

**Completed: May 21, 2018**

 

**PROMPT:**

~~*taken from Tumblr- I don't remember where*~~

 

 

> _**Where you have your soulmates name on your wrist. First or last name (up to you). Both your soulmates name and enemies name, you don’t know which is which.** _

*I added that your soul mates name appears on your wrist at 14 and at 25, the enemies name appears, and you know which is which * 

 

* * *

 

**| PROLOGUE |**

“Will our stars ever align?  
Will two hearts, beat in time?  
These words you should always remember,  
To you, my heart I surrender

Chasing love that can never be mine  
Maybe one day you'll realize  
These words you should always remember,  
To you, my heart I surrender”

\- __My Heart I Surrender_ by iPrevail_


	2. | CHAPTER ONE |

Zak was just starting his new high school when the black writing appeared on the inside of his thin, right wrist, laying there like a deadly promise. Staring at it, fingers rubbing at it as if he was trying to smudge it away, Zak knew he should not be having such negative thoughts on the writing. His mother always was excited about the possibility of her youngest child knowing who his soulmate was, as she never had the opportunity. Not everyone was granted the dark writing. But, Zak felt the unbearable weight of it add to his shoulders; it was just another thing on his list of worry, especially the name itself.

“Zak! Come on!” his sisters whiney voice of annoyance echoed into his bedroom, startling his thoughts.

“I’m coming,” he cried back.

His blue eyes refused to move from the writing. How was he going to hide this? He knew he would be made fun of, as everyone did not approve of the marks. But, an idea landed in his head. Rushing for his backpack, he grabbed it, making a beeline for the door to his bedroom. Zak quickly detoured into the bathroom, dashing for the medicine cabinet, grabbing a box of Band-Aids, knocking the orange pill containers into the white sink. Flying down the stairs like he had wings, Zak followed his sister out the door to the large yellow bus sitting in front of their house, his heart hammering in his chest.

As his sister and him arrived at the front of the bus, the door opened, squeaking loudly and the loud echoes of the teenagers inside were equally as deafening as the doors. Zak swallowed the lump in his throat and followed his sister into the heated oven. Keeping his head down, he ignored the curious glances he was getting and took the first seat he could find, which was at the front of the bus. He would have sat next to his sister, but Zak did not want to see her response as he covered the black writing on his right wrist. She would tell their mom and that was not something he wanted. He did not want his other to worry or celebrate.

Sitting down, the bus driver closed the door and the whole bus gave a great lurch forward as the engine started once again. As quietly as he could, Zak grabbed the Band-Aid box from his backpack and pulled out the longest strip he could find. His fingers were fumbling as he tried to tear the plastic from the bandage and it crumbled in his clutch as he held the leftovers. Holding the Band-Aid between his fingers on one hand, he awkwardly places it on the inside of his wrist over the black lettering. Zak’s heart relaxes into a steady beat once it is covered, gone from the prying eyes of those around him.

As he rides toward his new high school, Zak’s fourteen year old mind lulled into a light sleep. In his mind’s eyes, he cannot stop thinking about the lettering, a name. It troubles him, as the name probably belongs to a male, unless it is a nickname for a female. Whoever it belonged to, Zak knew it was name. It was his soulmates: “Nick.”

\------------------------

Zak is now eighteen and has moved away from Chicago, from the town that made fun of him for having a name tattooed on the inside of his wrist, to Las Vegas, a decision his mother told him to do. No matter how hard he had tried, everyone found out. Even now, he can still hear their laughter and their taunting and shuts his eyes for a moment. As he sits at the bar, he rubs at the piece of cloth covering his right wrist, a color as equally as black as the writing. Zak is so used to wearing it that it is like a second skin. He rarely ever takes it off. Tonight, however, it is warm to the touch and tingly. He has no idea why.

Suddenly, his phone vibrates, startling his thoughts, and he picks it up off the bar. A text from his new customer, a woman who went by the name of Veronique, that simply said: “we are here.” 

_ We _ ? Was she bringing her fiancé?

“I am at the bar,” he replies back and nurses his beer as he waits. 

Zak is only waiting for a few minutes when someone comes up behind him and taps his shoulder, light and delicate. He turns around in his spot to see a couple before him. The female, who had touched him, was blonde and pretty with a kind face and an overall glow just omitted from her. Her companion, however, drew Zak’s attention. He was small and thin, slightly taller than Zak; he was built like an athlete for speed and attractive in the jock, bad boy way. Brown eyes peered at him with curiosity, like he was trying to figure out Zak’s deepest secrets and it made Zak slightly uncomfortable.

“Zak?” the blonde asked.

It was the same voice he had spoke to on the phone, “Veronique Russel?”

“Yes,” she smiles brightly and motioned to the male beside her, “This is my fiancé, Nick Groff.”

_ Nick. _

__ _ Nick. _

__ _ Nick. _

Zak stands frozen as he stares at the man; his wrist starts to itch and he wants to scratch it, but it is not a physical itch. It is an urge to caress the black writing with that name, to make sure it is still there.

Is this man’s name the same person he is meant to be with?

As Zak unfreezes and begins to chat with the couple, he cannot stop thinking about the man sitting next to the blonde and the name on his wrist. If this man is his soulmate, would Zak want him still? He never felt emotions for another guy before outside of friendship and he never thought about it more before. But, surprisingly, Zak does not find it disgusting. He feels indifferent. 

By the end of the long night, Zak feels something in his heart stir like he has known Nick all his life. So much Nick had shared--his life story, his near-death experience, his likes, his dislikes, film making, the paranormal--was what Zak loved and it troubles him. How can someone he just met make him feel like he has always known them?

His wrist is itching so badly and Zak touches it multiple times when he is looking at Nick. When Nick looks at him, he snaps his head back to Veronique. Zak and Nick keep doing this throughout the night. Careful and curious glances and split seconds where their eyes connect.

Zak needs to stop thinking about Nick. There is no way he is Zak’s soulmate; he is taken and going to be tied down. There is just no possible way he is.  Though, Zak cannot stop feeling that it would not be too bad if Nick  _ was  _ his soulmate.


	3. | CHAPTER TWO |

It is Zak’s nineteenth birthday. The lights are out and only the candles, a ‘1’ and a ‘9,’ are emitting light. A soft, warm glow surrounds him and he is happy. Closing his eyes, Zak makes a wish that only he will ever know; his sapphire eyes open and they glisten in the candle light. His lips pucker as he blows the light out, engulfing the space and the people around him in darkness, but the lights come back on above him a moment later. Everyone rises in cheer and his mother rushes forward with a knife to cut the cake.

As his mother carves out the first piece for him, Zak’s gaze falls upon all his friends and family. One pair of brown eyes catches his attention and he smiles. Nick smiles back, equally as bright as Zak’s own. It’s been a year since they met and everyday it brings them closer and Zak’s wrist has stopped itching like he has poison ivy. He has not noticed if it continues burn, as he is never focused on that when he is with Nick. Instead he focuses on Nick and the way he speaks and moves.

To Zak’s surprise, Nick was not hitched, yet. Apparently, Nick and Roni, a nickname she went by, wanted to wait, but Nick would not tell Zak why. Zak never questioned his friend. He did not question why Nick was over at his apartment so much. He did not question the phone calls Nick received during their nights that stole him away with an angry tone of voice. 

“Here you go, Zak,” he felt the nudge of a plastic plate on his arm and he pulled his gaze away from his friend to his mother. He took the plate from her, grabbed a fork, and moved away from his kitchen to the sofa, plopping down on the edge of the piece of furniture.

Sitting alone with his thoughts, Zak did not feel someone sit down next to him till nimble fingers gripped the inside of his wrist on his right hand, over the black writing. He jumps, his plastic fork clattering against his plate. Nick appears next to him with a laugh on his lips and a plate full of cake in his right hand.

“Nick,” Zak sighs, “Hey, man.”

“Hey, Zak,” Nick laughs, “Are you sure you are going to be able to make it on our trip?”

Zak rolls his eyes at the reference of him jumping at something so small in comparison to their paranormal trip up north and takes a bite of the cake, “I’ll last longer that you.”

Nick leans in, “Want to bet?”

Zak shakes his head, ignoring the intensity of Nick’s eyes on him, “Not on us. But, I’ll bet on Aaron.”

Nick laughs again, pulling his eyes away  from Zak and towards their close friend, who was busy trying to persuade Zak’s mother for a bigger piece of cake, “Deal. Twenty that he will chicken-out on our first investigation.”

“Deal,” Zak replies with a soft smile.

They fall into silence and Zak takes another bite of his cake, icing smearing across the corner of his lips. His tongue darts out to lick it clean and he swallows.

“Ummmm… Zak?”

He snaps his head to Nick, who stares at him with an odd look, but Zak shoves it under the carpet in his mind. Nick suddenly looks uncomfortable and pulls his gaze from Zak, that look of… something... disappearing. Zak has seen it before, just not on a man, but he thinks nothing more of it.

“I know it’s your birthday and all and I don’t want to place my problems on you, but…,” Nick pauses and sighs, connecting their eyes again, "Roni kicked me out of our apartment,” Zak did not know what to think or say and the curious side of his mind wondered why she kicked him out. They seemed so in love and so happy, which Zak was envious of, “And I need some place to stay.”

“Stay,” Zak echoes and the word falls from his lips before he can pull them back in.

Nick stares at him for a moment before he smiles, “Thanks, Zak.”

He nods, “For as long as you like.”

Nick had not even asked for how long he could stay.

\------------------------

Zak is officially nineteen, as he stares at the digital clock on the microwave, at 11:15 p.m. and the world is silent in celebration. He sighs, but there is a soft smile on his face, as he pulls the fabric from his wrist, placing it on the countertop beside him. He touches the lettering. The sound of running water interrupts his thoughts of time and he turns to look at the bedroom door, which is slightly ajar. A flash of a naked body streaks across the bedroom and into the bathroom and Zak stares as it goes, something stirring in his heart and in his groin. He pulls his gaze away, looking back at the clock, watching as it suddenly changes.

_ Are we not all running out of time _ , he thinks.

Zak does not realize that he has been staring at the clock as long as he has until he hears the sound of running water stop; he glances at the door to his bedroom again, his mind wandering to the bathroom. His wrist starts itching, in a way he had not felt since he met Nick. His heart hammered like something was about to happen.

A figure appears in the doorway, filling it. His sapphire eyes drift over it, over the lanky muscles and the dark hair leading down his chest into his towel wrapped around his waist. One hand holds the towel in a knot at his left hip and the other dangles at his side. Zak’s eyes zero in on the first tattoo, a decorative ‘G,’ and then his gaze switches to the left arm where another tattoo lays, a name….  _ His name _ .

Zak draws his gaze back up to Nick’s brown eyes, iris’ blown wide. His mouth bobs as he tries to form words. Blue eyes travel back down to Nick’s inner wrist, ignoring the glances Nick is giving to Zak’s own wrist.

“I was right.”

Nick speaks first, his voice shattering the silent world around him.

“Why… Why didn’t you tell me?”

Zak swallows the lump of nerves in his throat.

“I had no idea it was you, for sure.”

They are silent as they stare at one another, at their names on the others body, on their wrists, marked forever until they turn to dust. Zak is the first to look away. Something snapped inside of him. Turning back to the clock, he grabbed the black cloth for his wrist. He can feel Nick staring at his back, flames shooting up and down his spine, and Zak can feel his boxers and jeans become very uncomfortable against his cock. He spreads his legs to try and relieve the pressure, refusing the way his body betrays him. 

“What are we going to do?”

“You’re getting married, Nick,” Zak snaps as he spins around to look at the younger man, “There’s nothing to do.”

Nick seems startled for a moment at Zak’s sudden outrage, but he recovers and steps forward, “I’m not getting married, Zak. Roni and I broke it off when she kicked me out of the house.”

_ When did I suggest we become  _ that, Zak angrily thinks at what Nick is suggesting underneath his explanation, “It doesn’t matter, Nick. You are still tied down. You are still her boyfriend.”

Nick takes a step forward, “Don’t you feel it, Zak?” he is ignoring Zak’s question and that makes Zak wonder why. Does he desire Zak deeply?

As he says the next words, Zak’s heart shatters and it surprises him, “I feel nothing,” Nick freezes before him, looking like a deer in love lights. Every word that Zak says, sends a spear through his own heart, but his brain is set in his thinking. He ignores his heart. He ignores his soul screaming in his chest, “We are nothing more than friends. It will always be that way, Nick.”

 


	4. | CHAPTER THREE |

Zak is, now, twenty and Nick just turned nineteen. Despite that night a year ago, they are still on good terms, still good friends. Roni and Nick have been off-and-on for the past year and each time they fight, Nick crawls back to Zak. He does not care anymore. He won’t admit it, but Zak secretly enjoys it.

It has been a year and Zak is starting to see what Nick was talking about that night in Zak’s apartment. It took a wild trip to Virginia City, walking through the dark together, to make Zak realize it all. He can still hear Nick’s cries and his own echoing in the dark for one another, wrapping around each other and letting go.

Zak knows it is too late to set things straight between him and his soulmate. Far too late. One year too late. The next time Nick returns to Roni, it will be the last time Nick ever runs to Zak. Roni will tie him down officially and Zak does not know what he is going to do. 

Now, here they are, driving to Los Angeles in hopes they can get their paranormal documentary to air on T.V. Zak is not sure if he wants it to or not. He is fearlessly possessive of the memory in the basement of Goldfield with Nick and is not sure if he wants to share with the rest of the world. That moment where all of Zak’s walls came down.

He plans to make the most of this trip. But, it seemed to go to hell as Nick and him realized that they would not be able to meet with the possible producer for their documentary and all thoughts of their relationship went out the window in his mind. Zak is thoroughly pissed at this producer and Nick is, too; he can see it in the way Nick’s fingers flex around the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. Wanting to soothe the anger in Nick’s veins, Zak holds back from reaching out and grabbing the other man’s hand. Instead, Zak relaxes into his seat and centers himself; it rarely works for him, but being in Nick’s presence, in his soulmates presence, helps him to calm down. Over the years, he started to realize about their connection.

Nick sighs heavily and turns away from the looming building they just came out of to Zak, fingers still flexing around the steering wheel, “Well, this is bullshit,” Zak stays silent as he lets Nick vent, but Nick does not say anymore in regards to their problem, “How about we wait?”

“Wait? Do we want to, really, Nick?” Zak does not quite understand. It seems like they are meant to not have their documentary shown. They were meant to fail. Why work against the mechanics of fate and destiny?

“We’ve worked too hard, Zak, to let this drop,” Nick, always the voice of reason, says.  _ You spent all your time at my apartment, don’t tell me it wasn’t worth it?  _ “I want to wait.”

Zak sighs and raises his arm up on the door, resting his head in his hand. He thinks for a moment and agrees with Nick, but his mind cannot stop thinking about the concept of fate. Raising his blue eyes, he grabs Nick’s attention for a moment before drifting away.

“Let’s go to Universal.”

Zak snaps his head up, “Wait. What?”

Nick smiles, “Let’s go to Universal on the rides while we wait.”

“Oh,” Zak sounds disappointed and he is not quite sure why, “Yeah. Let’s do that. We’ll wait.”

“Are you sure?” Nick asks, brown eyes quizzingly looking over his soulmate.

“Yes,” Zak laughs, “Let’s do this. Let’s make the most of the situation.”

Nick chuckles lightly and then turns his car engine over, “Alright. Alright. Alright.”

The atmosphere in the car changes after that moment. A positivity electrifies the air around them. Zak feels like he is on a high and he never wants to come back down. He wants to ride with Nick and hope the end of the line never approaches them. Walk the line. Ride the line. Run the line. 

As they make their way to Universal Studios, Zak is laughing as he listens to Nick tell him about what he was like in high school, a misfit and a clown, an idea that Zak still sees within Nick’s soul and mind. He is still that same boy. Just more mature.

“ You should have been there in middle school, Zak,” Nick laughs as he is lost in nostalgia, “the shit I pulled was genius.”

Zak laughs, “How so?”

“One time, well, I should say I did it as often as I liked,” Nick narrates, twisting and turning through the streets toward the amusement park, “we were reading some book together and I would purposefully stop when it was my turn on certain words. So, what I did was that I would raise my hand and the teacher would come over. I’d ask, ‘I don’t know what this word is…,’ and my teacher would say, ‘that’s an “a,” Nick,’” Nick starts laughing and Zak cracks a smile too, their laughter ringing out in their car, “It was the greatest. I was always doing stupid shit like that.”

Zak smiles, memorized by how Nick’s eyes glisten with laughter tears and nostalgia, “I bet your teachers really loved you.”

“Of course they did,” Nick smirks, “What is there not too love?”

Just as he said that, they arrived at the amusement park and Zak’s heart was beating out of his chest. He never was a fan of amusement parks, more specifically roller coasters, because he had a fear of heights. Despite this, he would do it. He would do it for Nick. For their bond. For what may come. For what may never happen.

_ Make the most of the moment _ , Zak remembers himself saying to Nick.

They paid for their tickets and began walking in no particular direction. No one around them gave them a second glance and Zak basked in it. Despite the writing on their wrists, they were normal, a concept Zak had forgotten. With this feeling, Zak glanced at Nick. What if he grabbed the other man’s hand? Held on and never let go? Run to the end of the earth?

Zak pushes these thoughts to the back of his mind as Nick suddenly changes direction. Laughing, Nick continues to tell him about his childhood and how troublesome and wild he was. The older man can feel his heart swell. Where were these emotions a year ago when Nick has asked about their connection, their black writing?

“How about the Log Flume, Zak?” Nick asks in the middle of his story.

Zak nods, smiling brightly, “Alright.”

He moves almost sluggishly behind Nick, all of the background and the corners of his sight is blurred as he does so. Is he falling? Why now? Why Nick?  _ He’s fucking getting married!  _

They do not stand in line for very long before they are waiting for their car. The heavy smell of chlorine and the splashing of water against the plexiglass resonate in his mind. They are motioned forward toward an empty car, Nick falling behind Zak as he leans down, climbing into the soaked log flume car. It rocks beneath his weight for a moment as he settles into the seat, almost stradling it. Turning slightly behind him, Zak watches as Nick leans down behind him, staying low as he crawls into the wet car. Behind Zak, he can feel Nick shift around, the soft squeal of sneakers on the wet bottom of the car on either side of him; he can feel the breaths between their bodies, which seem so close even though it really was not.

The car goes around the loading platform and, just as they are about to start the ride, their car is stopped by a foot of one of the employees. They bob there as the water gushes underneath, continuing on its never ending circle. 

“Hey, man,” the employee asks them softly, “Do you mind if we add two more?”

Zak glances at Nick, shaking his head. Nick is too busy looking at their new companions, a young couple, to notice Zak giving him permission, “No. We don’t mind.”

“Thanks, man,” the employee says and motions toward the couple to join them.

Zak can feel Nick scoot forward behind him, his thighs touching either of Zak’s hips and his breath tickling the back of Zak’s neck. It all causes an electric current surge through Zak’s body. He holds his breath. 

“Are you ready?” the employee asks as the couple finally settle into the back of the car behind the two men. They must have nodded because the employee lets go of the car and they slide into the plexiglass track. Water splashes up on either side of their car, the spray misting Zak’s face. 

“Whoo!” Nick’s cheer is loud in his ear and contagious as Zak laughs, but it turns to whimper as their car begins to trudge upwar, the car jerking as they climb.

“You alright, bro?” Nick’s worry is evident in the tone of his voice. 

“Yeah,” Zak cries back, hands white knuckling the edges of their car, “Just not a fan of heights.”

Though Zak cannot see it, there is a soft smile on Nick’s face, “It’s alright,” but, Zak does feel the gentle hand on the curve of his hip, “I’ve got you.”

Zak nods, swallowing the lump in his throat and practically sighs back into the hand. They drop back into the water, once they reach the top, gliding along for a little bit, ganging speed as they go. Their car begins to shake back and forth, bending along curves, and dropping down on small declines. The water spray is a thin layer on Zak’s skin at this point.

They soon came to the big drop and Zak exhaled loudly; he will be fine. He has Nick with him. The hand on his hips grips him tighter, grounding Zak. As their car came closer, Zak felt himself move backwards between Nick’s spread legs and Nick willingly clamps down on his body; Nick’s hand moves from Zak’s hip, encircling his body like a seat belt.

“Woo! Let’s get ready!” one of the people in the back of them squealed with delight.

“I’ve got you,” Nick’s voice is so silent that Zak can barely hear it over the blood pounding in his ears, the car slowly tipping over, “Always.”

Was that voice even real?

The car rushed down the shute and Zak shuts his eyes, pressing his body back into Nick. The younger man starts yelling, screaming his head off in a wild manner in Zak’s ear. Water rushes up around. Then, drowning their clothes. As they reach the bottom, the couple behind them are squealing from excitement. Nick is laughing in his ear and his grip loosens, and Zak is absolutely soaked, his shirt sticking to his body like a second-skin.

Zak exhales again, pulling himself forward from Nick’s body, but it turns to laughter as the adrenaline rushes in his veins at last. As their car arrives back into the station, Nick whispers in Zak’s ear, “I told you I gotcha,” and, then, "Want to go again?”

Zak turns around and glares at him. Nick laughs.

 


	5. | CHAPTER FOUR |

Zak and Nick are driving back to Vegas, success singing in their veins, a high of the sorts.  Music is blasting from the stereo in the car and the windows are down, cool wind ruffling their hair and caressing their hot skin. A golden sun is disappearing below the horizon behind them, setting the sky on fire. 

Zak glances at his companion, the golden light making Nick’s face glow, a twinkling in his brown eyes;  _ he looks so beautiful _ , he thinks and it is not in the feminine beauty, but a beauty men have, of a god-like appearance. Zak cannot believe he has never seen Nick this way, happy and glowing and so full of life.

Nick smiles as he glances at Zak and then his gaze goes back to the road, “Can you believe it, Zak?”

Zak shakes his head, “I feel like I’m in a dream.”

“The fucking documentary is going to air on fucking national television!” Nick practically cries out, hand slapping the side of the steering wheel.

Zak laughs, “I know. I know. I know.”

“On  _ national _ . Fucking. Television!” Nick emphasizes each word.

“You did it, Nick,” Zak smiles proudly, knowing how much blood, sweat, and tears Nick put into this. Yes, Zak did some work on it, but it was all Nick and Zak could not be more proud of his best friend and soulmate.

Nick glances at Zak again, smiling brightly, before looking back at the road, but then he returns his gaze to Zak and reaches out, grasping Zak’s hand on his lap, “We did it, Zak,” he squeezes gently.

Zak smiles, staring into Nick’s brown eyes. As Nick starts to let go of his hand, Zak grips him tighter. Nick looks back at the road for a moment before snapping his head back to look at Zak. His brown eyes are wide as they stare at the older man.

“Zak-.”

“I was wrong,” he confesses.

He watches as Nick swallows, his Adam’s Apple bobbing in his throat, and he looks back at the road, “Zak-.”

“I was  _ so _ wrong, Nick,” he does not allow the other man to continue to speak, “This trip, this adventures of ours, has proved it,” his fingers caress the tops of Nick’s right hand, over the sharp indents of his knuckles and fingers, “I should not have said what I did last year.”

“Zak-,” Nick tries to speak. He is no longer looking at Zak and that troubles the older man.

“Please, Nick,” Zak begs, “I want to give it a try. I want to be with you. I want us, whatever the black writing on our wrists means.”

Nick sighs and,  _ finally _ , he turns to look at Zak, but there is no happiness in his eyes at Zak’s confession, “Zak… I’m back together with Veronique.”

The words are sharp knife to Zak’s heart and he can feel it shatter in his chest. He stares, frozen, at Nick, hardly able to comprehend what Nick has said. This was not how it was supposed to come about.  _ No! _ They were supposed to be happy, driving back to Vegas, back to Zak’s apartment. They were supposed to be with one another. They were supposed to perhaps touch, kiss, and discover each other. Not this. Not this.  _ Not this! _

“What?”

Nick pulls his hand from Zak’s now loose grip, “Veronique and I are back together. We’ve set a date. We’re sticking with it. For better or for worse.”

“What?” 

Nick cannot stand to look at Zak, now, “Please, don’t make this harder for me, Zak! But, time’s have changed. We have changed.”

Zak sighs and collapses into himself, into his seat, turning away from Nick. Staring out at the landscape around him, he notices the sky has darkened, causing dark shadows on the mountains in the distance. He is thinking of what to do next, but there is nothing.

“I’m sorry, Zak.”

And it is not enough.

 


	6. | CHAPTER FIVE |

Zak is now twenty-three, a host and lead-investigator of his own tv show, a player, and a best friend. Nick is twenty-two, a cameraman, a married man, a loved man. They both continue to hide their wrists, refusing to let anyone, outside of their companion Aaron Goodwin, to see them. Nick refuses, even after all these years, to show his wife, which has caused a major sore spot in their relationship. Coming home no longer feels the same as it use to, Nick thinks.

He places a faux smile on his face as he talks about his wife and their lonely house to his best friends: ‘ _all is well,’ ‘couldn’t be happier,’_ and _‘I’m taking her out tonight.’_ Nick does not like to make his best friends worry, especially Zak. Definitely Zak. Whenever Nick has a mental pause, he thinks about the other man, about the setting sun resting behind his head, about the wind blowing through their hair, about his confession. Nick never hated himself more-- he was in a trap. No, he was in limbo, an everlasting limbo that he does not know how to get out of. Could he even get out of it?

Heart pounding, the beat increasing with each passing moment is like a pause before the storm. Nick feels this way every time he looks at Zak, like he is now, filming him interview the lockdown owner; Zak’s voice is loud in his ears, a gentle and deep tone that is Nick’s own personal lullaby.

He will admit it, to the silence of his mind, that he wishes he could hear that voice, as he dreams in the isolation of his bedroom when his wife is asleep. Even now, behind Nick’s camera, he can bring it to the front of his mind. A vivid image of Zak, naked and spread on their bed, willing and aroused only for Nick. His mouth is agape, but no sounds come out; they never do. Zooming in, Nick can see the black writing on his right wrist, his name branded on the other man’s skin. Nick’s left hand, the one with his own black writing, caresses upward on Zak’s arm, stopping over his name and squeezing the wrist in a silent promise that Zak will belong to him and that they are tied forever.

“Nick!”

He snaps his head up to meet Zak’s gaze, as it was _his_ voice that was screaming in his ear. His blue eyes were filled with worry and Nick nods to him that Zak has his attention. Nick’s heart beat increasing with speed, but no longer from arousal of what he saw.

“You alright there, man?” Zak asks gently, nodding slightly.

Nick nods, “Yeah. Yeah. Let’s go.”

He marches off ahead of Zak, ignoring the curious glances the older man is giving Aaron Goodwin. Knowing the connection between the two of them, Aaron keeps his distance, only allowing to be Zak’s shoulder to cry on when the pressure becomes too much.

If only Nick knew how much pain Zak was going through.

If only Zak knew how much pain Nick was going through.

Then, perhaps, there was a chance, but Aaron knew only the most extreme of circumstances was going to do what was needed.

\------------------------

It was quite. _Too_ quiet. The absence of sound echoed in Zak’s head as he walked down the corridor. He wants the loud bangs and the voices and the adrenaline rush. He wants anything to help him ignore how much he wants to be beside Nick more than anything, how much he wants to kiss those lips of his.

 _Fuck Veronique_ , he thinks bitterly, _Fuck you for taking him away from me!_

“Dude!” Aaron cries out behind him, “What the fuck was that?”

Zak turns to look at him, the IR on his camera blinding Aaron’s and Nick’s cameras for a second, “What, man?”

“Did you hear that?” Aaron stares at his two best friends in the dark, only able to see them by the small light their LCD Screens provide on their faces, “Tell me you heard that.”

“What, Aaron?”

“What did you hear?” Nick asks more calmly and professional than Zak, who practically snaps at Aaron. Nick glances at his soulmate for a moment, unsure why Zak is angry all of the sudden.

“I swear, man,” Aaron answered, “I swear I heard a growl in my ear. Please, tell me you heard that.”

“No, Aaron, we didn’t,” Zak snaps and turns back down the hallway, staring at the end of it through his LCD Screen. He wants to put as much space between him and Nick and Aaron as possible. Even if that means marching head first into a nest of ghosts.

“What the fuck, man?” Aaron calls out, “Where are you going? Nick, where’s he going?”

“I don’t know, Aaron,” Nick’s voice is growing smaller as Zak walks away, “I don’t know,” it’s an answer to their whole situation: Zak, the growl, and all, “Zak! Wait for us, man!”

Zak scoffs and rolls his eyes and continues down the corridor. His footsteps pick up pace as he comes closer to the staircase to head to the next floor up. This floor does not feel like anything to him. It feels normal and Lord does he hate that word! He hates how it symbolizes everything he cannot have and will never have. Yet, he is running from it.

“Zak!” Nick yells from behind him.

He marches through the doorway, ignoring the sounds of Nick speed walking toward him and crying out for him. Zak wants to get away. Get away from the pain he is feeling. Get away from the longing of something he can never have. He wants to stop feeling.

As he dashes up the staircase, Zak forgets that there is a medium-sized hole in the middle of one of the steps and his foot lands on it perfectly. It takes only one second for his mind to realize what is happening and what will happen to him and Zak falls through the wood, the material splintering beneath his weight with a loud crack. Zak flies through the air for only one second. He cries out, his camera flying from his hand as he crashes into the staircase beneath him with a loud bang; surprisingly, the wood beneath does not crack and send him down to the next set of stairs. Pain ripples through his body, as he screams, and his eyelids flutter as he fights consciousness on the creaking wooden boards of the stairs. Zak barely feels anything, but at the same time he can feel every bone in his body screaming at the hard crash.

“Zak!”

He can barely hear Nick calling out to him, the quick footsteps turning into full fledge running. It takes Nick only a few seconds to find Zak and the older man can pick up on the bright light of flashlight beneath his eye lashes. Zak groans in pain, trying to move his arm toward Nick, but it feels so heavy and he ends up only moving toward Nick a few inches. It hurts to breathe.

“Oh my god,” Nick whimpers, cries, and moans.

“Oh shit, dude!” Aaron only gasps.

Nick flies toward Zak, his camera crashing on the floor where he once stood beside Aaron, and falls to his knees next to Zak, ignoring the small pain of protest his knees give him at landing so hard and quickly. His hands reach out to touch Zak’s shirt, touch Zak’s head, touch Zak’s arms, touch Zak’s back. Brown eyes scope out the older man’s body, trying to identify if there is any sign of bleeding. Nick freezes on Zak’s left leg. The black jeans have been ripped to his knee, a good eight inch gash in his shin gushing blood onto the dirty floor.

“Oh Jesus,” Nick cries and turns to Aaron, who is standing frozen at the next landing above them, “Aaron!” he is not moving and Nick will not move from his position beside Zak, touching him, “Aaron! Dude! Call 911! Hurry! _Please!_ ”

Aaron startles awake from his staring and fumbles in his vest for his phone. Nick turns back to Zak, who is moaning slightly in pain and his eyelashes are fluttering. The younger man cannot stop touching him and wants to move him and hold him, but Nick knows that it is best to keep Zak as still as possible to avoid damaging anything else. Nick wants to help, but he does not know what he can do without injuring Zak anymore.

“Zak,” Nick leans down closer to him, “Can you hear me?”

“Nick,” Zak whimpers lightly, his lips barely moving as he speaks.

Nick sighs and he squeezes gently on Zak’s head and his back, “I’m here, Zak. I’m here.”

“Ev-,” Zak whimpers and moans as he tries to speak. It hurts so much to breathe.

“Shhhh,” Nick cries, “Don’t speak. Aaron is getting help,” he can hear Aaron talking to the Dispatch and knows they are their way, “Aaron is getting help.”

“Everything hurts, Nick,” Zak wheezes, his eyes falling shut.

“Zak,” Nick moves Zak lightly, “Zak,” the older man whimpers as his eyes falling open again with the sudden jolt of pain and adrenaline, “Stay with me, Zak. Stay with me.”

Zak only exhales loudly and Nick takes it as a ‘yes.’ The younger man’s eyes fall on Zak’s left leg and he crawls forward toward it. Zak stares at him go and his arm shifts slightly toward him in a silent plea to not going anywhere. Nick does not travel far as he kneels next to Zak’s leg and pulls his shirt off, revealing pale New England skin and muscles for only a second as Nick’s white undershirt falls back over his body. Zak brings his gaze away and watches as Nick rips the shirt and begins to wrap Zak’s leg in it.

“This is going to sting,” Nick looks back over his shoulder at Zak and, suddenly, tightens the shirt around the gash. Zak cries out, flinching slightly at the flare of pain flying up his leg. Nick apologizes and crawls back up to Zak.

“They’re on their way, Nick,” Aaron calls out, “I’m gonna leave and meet them at the front entrance.”

“Okay,” Nick responds, refusing to take his gaze away from Zak’s face laying on one of the top most steps on the staircase. He hears Aaron dash off to the front of the building, but all Nick can concentrate on is Zak’s heavy wheezes.

“Oh God, Zak,” Nick cries out again, his fingers falling to the top of the older man’s head, on top of the dark hair, on top of the sharp cheekbones, “I’m so sorry.”

Zak wonders why he is saying sorry, but his eyes fall shut again as he loses consciousness. The last thing he sees is Nick’s brown eyes, so filled with worry, so filled with love, and his lips moving as he tries to say something more.

 


	7. | CHAPTER SIX |

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late, but better late than never. Enjoy this chapter!

Nick stares at the heart monitor, watching each flare of the green line. He has counted that there is a two second delay between the flare of the green line and the beep. He has counted that there is a two second delay between the flare of the green line and the true heart beat of his soulmate beneath his head. He has counted that each rise of Zak’s chest, each rise of Nick’s head, lasts five seconds, enough for Zak’s heart to beat about four times, enough for the green line to flare about three times. Nick cannot stop staring at the contraption that is monitoring his soulmates life.

“You should get something to eat, Nick,” Aaron calls out from his chair at the foot of Zak’s hospital bed.

Without moving his gaze from the heart monitor, Nick replies, “I’m fine.”

“You haven’t eaten anything since dinner last night, dude.”

“I’m fine, Aaron!” he snaps.

“Alright, alright, alright,” Aaron defends himself and they fall back into silence.

Nick turns his head away from the heart monitor, shifting his head on Zak’s chest to stare at his face. His left arm is flung across Zak’s waist and his right hand lifts itself from resting beside Zak’s body to the top of Zak’s head. Fingers flutter on the dark brown hair, running through it gently; Nick revels in how soft it is when there is not any hair product in it. Brown eyes study Zak’s chiseled face, the high cheek bones, the delicate eyelashes resting upon them, the subtle arch of his upper lip. Nick notices two scars resting above both of Zak’s eyebrows and wonders how he got them. He adds that to a list of questions he has for Zak when he wakes up:

1\. __Why is your middle name Alexander?__

__ 2\. What is your favorite color? _ _

__ 3\. Do you prefer sunsets or sunrises? _ _

__ 4\. Do you prefer the moon or the stars? _ _

__ 5\. Did you know that I almost died when I was eight? Did you know that I almost died tonight? _ _

__ 6\. How did you get the scars above your eyebrows? _ _

 

Nick exhales loudly. He wants those eyelashes to flutter open. He wants to see those sapphire eyes. He wants to be the first thing that Zak sees when he wakes up. His soulmate. His other half.

“I don’t want to let you go this time, Zak,” he whispers. He promises. 

“What?” Aaron calls out to him, but when Nick does not respond, he takes it that he must have misheard him.

Nick continues to play with Zak’s hair. He adds that to another question on his list:

_ 7\. Will you still take me back? Will you still be mine? Will you still love me? Can you forgive me? _

Nick knows Zak is not dying, as he only sustained a small fracture to some of his ribs, gained a lot of bruised muscles, received a eight inch gash on his shin, and acquired a concussion. Nick knows this, but, staring at Zak’s face, makes it feel like he is dying. He feels at fault for that happened to Zak; he should have ran after Zak, asked him what was wrong and stopped him from going up the staircase. 

Suddenly, Nick’s pocket buzzes and the light vibrations travel throughout his body. He ignores it, as he knows who it is; he does not want to speak to  _ her _ . Nick stills loves his wife, but it is out of friendship now, more than anything else. His feelings have transferred over to the man his head lays upon. 

“Wake up,” Nick mumbles as his phone stops vibrating, “Wake up, Zak. Please.”

\------------------------

It is later that night, the day after their lockdown, when the doctor returns. He stares at Nick with piercing eyes, but Nick ignores him; he stays where he is, laying his upper torso across Zak’s body. Clearing his throat, Nick knows that the doctor is asking for him to move.

“Mr. Groff,” the doctor starts, “How long have you been here?”

“Long enough,” Nick answers, his throat raw from not having spoken often and from dehydration, “And I’ll continue to stay until he wakes up.”

“I know how it must feel,” the doctors replies with a sincere voice as if he actually knew what Nick was going through, “But, I need to look over his bandages to see how he has healed and you need to get something to drink, or you will faint and we will have to remove you from this room to another where you can’t see Mr. Bagans,” the end part is a partial threat and Nick sighs.

He tears his eyes away from Zak’s face for the first time in hours and looks up at the doctor on the other side of the bed. Nodding, Nick rises slowly from his position on Zak’s body, his hand, though, clasps Zak’s left wrist; he still refuses to let go.

“Call me if anything changes,” Nick reluctantly says, “I’ll be back as quickly as possible.”

The doctor smiles, “Of course, Mr. Groff,” and begins his look over of Zak’s body.

Nick sighs again as he stares at Zak and, hesitantly, lets go of the older man’s wrist. Turning around on sluggish feet, he can feel his soul slipping from his body and returning back to the position he had been at for the past ten hours. He walks out of the room into the bright white light of the hospital hallway. Slowly, he makes his way toward the closest bathroom and goes in. He does his business and runs his hands under the warm water, watching the dirt and grime and Zak’s blood from his fingers and under his nails slither down the drain. Once they are clean, he holds his hands under the water like a cup and bends over, splashing his face with it. Nick keeps his eyes closed for what seems like a couple minutes, before he opens them, staring back at himself in the mirror, watching the water cut clear paths down his dust covered face and onto his dirty, white undershirt. 

_ If only things were as easy as water cutting through objects _ , he thinks.

Patting his hands and his face dry with a paper towel, Nick tosses it into the trash can as he passes through the door. He makes his way toward the Nurse’s Station, where he remembers seeing a water fountain. As he walks there, his phone comes to life again in his pocket. He sighs and pauses, digging in his jeans for it. When Nick pulls his out, he reads that it is Veronique again and presses ‘Decline.’ As he does so, the lock screen reveals that he has missed ten calls from her, but he could care less. Nick shoves the phone back in his pocket.

He continues walking toward the Nurse’s Station and eyes the water fountain. Approaching it, he leans down and presses the silver button on the top of the fixture, waiting for the water to come spouting out of the silver mouth. He shuffles closer and closes his lips around the arch of water, allowing the surprisingly cool liquid to caress his lips for a moment before rushing over his tongue and down his throat. It has the odd taste of iron or something metallic, but Nick is too parch to care. He does not realize how thirsty he is until the first drop of water touches his lips. 

Suddenly, he hears his name being called out, “Mr. Groff!”

He stands up, turning around quickly in the direction the voice is coming from, which is also the same direction as Zak’s hospital room. Nick sees a very flamboyant nurse come running, more like she was trying out for some choreographed number in a musical, toward him. He does not recognize her, but she knows him.

“Mr. Groff,” she comes to halt before him.

“Yes?”

“Mr. Bagans is awake,” is the only thing he hears as he dashes off down the hallway, sprinting past nurses and doctors chatting in closed groups. His speed causes their garments to flutter as he passes. Nick’s brain is on overload and the only thing he cares about is getting to see Zak. He is angry at himself for not being there, for not being the first thing Zak sees, but he is more focused on the fact that Zak is awake.

Nick arrives quickly at Zak’s hospital room to a scene of the doctor from before chatting with some nurses, but his brown gaze is peering at the figure sitting up in the bed. Zak wears a white hospital gown with little geometric shapes stitched into it and it seems to be so awkward on his muscular body; then, again, Zak does look odd in white, especially with his deep desert tan and dark and beautiful aura. Zak does not notice Nick at first, as he was staring at the doctors and nurses talking, but then he seems to notice something/someone staring at him and turns his gaze to the doorway.

Blue eyes connect with brown and a smile spreads across Zak’s face. Nick barely holds back as he rushes forward toward the older man. His eyebrows furrowed in worry. 

“Zak-.”

“Nick,” Zak grabs his hand, seeming to forget about the words they had said in regards to their relationship.

Nick does not care. He holds onto the hand tightly, his knuckles almost white as he clutches it; Zak’s mirror it to. Sitting back down in his chair beside Zak’s bed, Nick rests their arms on the side of the bed; his brown eyes are practically glistening.

“Oh God, Zak,” Nick replies with a sigh of relief before saying, “How are you?”

“In pain,” Zak answers, “But the morphine helps,” he winks at Nick.

Nick chuckles and it turns to a sigh. He barely registers what he does next. It just seems like instinct. Leaning down, Nick brings the back of Zak’s hand up to his lips. He kisses the skin gently and then brings his gaze up to Zak, who simply stares at him. He does it again, this time on the first knuckle and then the next and the next. Each kiss bringing a sudden wave of emotions over Nick.

“Nick,” Zak sighs his name.

He connects his eyes back up to Zak, “I’m sorry, Zak. I’m so sorry.”

“Stop,” Zak says sharply and shuts his eyes. He exhales loudly for a second before opening those blue eyes of his again to Nick, “You’re married, Nick-.”

“I don’t ever want to leave you, Zak,” he confesses. Zak stares at him, as if what he just said was a figment of his imagination, “I don’t ever want to leave you. I’m so sorry. I should have said ‘yes’ so many years ago. I should have. I don’t ever want to leave you.”

“Nick-,” it is all Zak gets to say before Aaron comes barging into the room.

“Zak! You’re awake, bro!” Aaron walks forward toward him; Nick drops Zak’s hand and sits back in his chair. Zak glances at him, wanting to reach out for his hand again, “Thank God! How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Zak replies as he leans back to lay down on the bed.

The doctors, suddenly, walks over, his nurses leaving the room, “And you need rest, Mr. Bagans. You’ve sustained a lot of injuries and your body needs all the rest to heal.”

“I know,” Zak smiles and grabs the hem of his sheet, pulling it up to cover himself.

“You have two fractured ribs,” the doctor begins to list off his injuries, but Nick is not hearing him. He already knows Zak’s injuries. He is simply staring at Zak, watching the wrinkles appear in his forehead as he focuses on what the doctor is saying and the way his eyelashes move with his eyelids as he blinks. Despite everything, Nick feels like they will be alright and Zak will agree to be with him, that they will have happily ever after.

 


	8. | CHAPTER SEVEN |

**WARNING: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT**

Zak is still twenty-three, a host and lead-investigator of his own tv show, a player, and a best friend. Nick is still twenty-two, a cameraman, a married man, a loved man, but not by the same person. Nick is still tied to his wife, but his heart and soul are tied to another. He is loved by Zak. 

Nick is staring at him, now, watching Zak walk across the floor, pacing aimlessly. His shoulders roll and he hisses. The younger man can practically feel the frustration drip from Zak’s aura and Nick is, too.

“Why the fuck can’t we go in?” 

Zak is referring to the fact they are being banned from investigating one of the many other historical buildings in Virginia City. Everything had been set and they had driven a couple hours to film, only to find out that they were being denied access. Zak and Nick were pissed, but Zak more so than Nick.

“I don’t fucking care, Mike!” Zak practically screams into the phone, “We were all set! What the fuck?”

Nick leans back on the bed, resting his head on the headboard, and pulls the comforter up over his very-much-so-naked body and hard-on. He returns to attention back to Zak, who is still pacing the floor, and at the rate he is going he will put a hole in the carpet. Zak sighs miserably.

“Alright. Alright. Alright,” he replies, “Let’s just see if the Goldfield is willing to take us or the Washoe Club, okay? Okay,” he pauses, “Alright. Yeah. Bye,” and he angrily hits the ‘end’ button on his phone before gently tossing his phone on the table beside him. 

“So, what’s the news?” Nick finally asks.

Zak turns to look at him, getting aroused at the sight of his soulmate lounging in his hotel bed and wearing nothing, “Turns out that they don’t want their house to be publicized with our cameras and took their contract out an hour ago,” his hands fall to the waistband on his jeans, unzipping and unbuckling them.

“And?” Nick’s brown eyes watch Zak push his jeans off his slim hips, revealing a slightly erected cock.

“We are going to try and get into the Washoe or Goldfield or the Silver Queen as a last minute,” Zak replies as his jeans pool at his feet and he steps from them, “I’m not wasting this trip up here.”

Nick smirks at both the double innuendo Zak means and the look Zak is giving him as he climbs on to the foot of their hotel bed. He slowly crawls up the sheets on all fours toward Nick, his gaze locked with his, and swings himself over Nick’s leg. Zak settles his knees on either side of Nick’s hips and lowers himself to straddle them. Raising his hands, Nick grabs Zak’s hips, holding him there above his own aroused cock, which is growing hard against Zak’s own. 

Leaning forward, Nick whispers against Zak’s lips, “Good. Neither do I,” and he seals their lips in a gentle kiss.

Nick’s soul is singing in his chest as he kisses Zak, pulling his body closer to his. There are moments, like this one, where Nick thinks he is dreaming and that he will open his eyes and he will be driving down the road so many years ago, denying Zak’s confession. He fears the day when he opens his eyes and finds his wife beside him, not Zak. 

“Nick,” he gasps and Nick surges his tongue forward. Zak moans as their tongues tangle with one another, tasting and feeling one another. The older man’s hands thread through Nick’s hair, pulling it gently, angling his head more so Zak can kiss him more.

The older man pulls away first, gasping for air, and trails open mouth kisses along Nick’s jaw; Nick’s stubble is like rough sandpaper against his cheek and his lips. Following the contours to Nick’s ear, Zak kisses the earlobe before nipping at it, pulling on the flesh slightly. Nick moans loudly in his ear in response. Zak’s tongue darts out, licking the shell of Nick’s ear, before his lips fall to the side of Nick’s neck. He gives the column of flesh open-mouthed kisses and his hands fall to Nick’s stomach, caressing the soft rises of hard muscle. 

“This never gets old,” Nick sighs, head falling back to allow Zak the room to kiss his neck. 

Zak chuckles and rises from Nick’s neck, peering down at the large brown eyes of his soulmate, “You’ve said that each time, which I may add is now sixteen, that we make out,” they only had done touching and kissing with one another. They, even, saw each other pleasure themselves, but they never actually  _ did anything _ .

Nick leans forward, his arms wrapping around Zak’s naked back and pressing him into Nick’s chest. He is careful, though, as Zak’s ribs are still healing from the massive fall he had a couple months ago, “And I will say it every single time afterwards,” and he seals their lips together.

The kiss starts off soft, but soon it turns rough till Nick can feel Zak practically flooding his veins. Without warning, Nick flips Zak over, the sheet falling on top of Zak’s legs and off of Nick’s own. Zak lays beneath Nick, his legs parted to fit Nick’s body between them; Nick’s hands land on either side of Zak’s shoulders, holding him up above the other man. Smirking, Nick pulls away from the kiss and stares down at him.

Zak is like a Greek god beneath him, all muscles and wild eyes and wild hair. A soft smile is on his face, filled with love and warmth and happiness, as he looks up at Nick. The sight makes Nick practically melt like a some school girl would upon seeing her quarterback football star crush on the field. 

“God,  _ you’re so fucking hot _ ,” Nick sighs as he leans down, kissing Zak’s lips again and sliding his hips up against Zak’s own, so his hard cock presses against Zak’s again. Zak moans and twitches beneath his touch, his legs spreading apart further.

“I want you so bad,” Zak murmurs as he threads his fingers through Nick’s hair and bucks his hips against Nick’s, relishing the sweet moan that falls from Nick’s lips, “I’ve never wanted someone so bad like I do you.”

“I’m yours,” Nick replies as he sighs against Zak’s lips, “I’m yours, always and forever.”

“Always and forever,” Zak echoes.

Slowly, Nick pulls himself from Zak’s warm embrace and sits up on his knees before Zak. He grabs Zak’s knee and holds onto it as he pushes himself off the bed. Zak knows what he is doing, as they were planning on finally being together sexually for the first time tonight before they had to go do the lockdown. They wanted to plan it and make is something special and where was any place better but the city that they realized their true feelings for one another? Where was any place better than Virginia City?

Zak lounges, one arm tucked under him to hold his upper torso up, as he watches Nick walk over to their luggage in one corner of the room. Nick bends over and Zak practically drools at the sight of his ass up in the air like that. They had agreed that Zak would bottom for their first time and, then, if they wanted to, Nick could bottom for Zak, but Zak is not sure if he wants to, though he does adore seeing Nick’s ass up in the air for the whole world to see. Zak can feel his cock twitch impatiently beneath the sheet at the sight. 

With a sigh, Zak flings the sheet away from him, revealing his aching cock. He wraps his hand around it, as he cannot stand the ache anymore, and moans in relief at just the touch alone. Nick comes back, holding a small bottle of lube and a condom, which Nick hopes work. He does not know much about gay sex, but he hopes his research is right and that they are well prepared. Nick is shaking as he returns back to the bed and back to the sight of his soulmate pleasuring himself on their hotel bed; he would be lying if he said he was not nervous about this whole thing, but his shaking was not just from that. Excitement of finally…  _ finally _ being able to do the “dirty deed” with his soulmate is electrifying and energizing. Nick relies on this feeling as he kneels once more before Zak, squeezing the lube onto his fingers and positioning them at the entrance to Zak’s ass. 

“Are you sure you still want to do this, Zak?” Nick asks before he does anything.

Zak nods, body tense as he waits for Nick’s fingers, “Yes. Yes. I’m ready. I want you,” his blue eyes connect with Nick’s brown, “Do you still want to do this?”

Nick sighs, “God, yes,” and leans down to kiss Zak’s lips again, “I’m just nervous.”

Zak nods again in understanding, “So am I.”

Nick touches Zak’s hole, fingertips caressing the ring of muscle, and watches in fascination as Zak’s hips buck and his head falls back with a gasp. The younger man pauses, unsure of his actions and how they affect Zak. The last thing he wants to do is hurt Zak.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Zak sighs, “Do it again. Continue.”

Nick touches the ring of muscle again and Zak gasps again, bucking his hips once more. Instead of teasing the ring some more, Nick gently pushes one of his fingers in. Zak hisses at the pain, but it turns to pleasure as Nick starts a slow pace of working the hole open some more.

“Nick,” Zak gasps, head thrown back against the pillow.

The younger man leans down and kisses him as he adds a second finger, swallowing the moan Zak unleashes. With his two fingers, Nick thrusts in and out of Zak’s hole, working the ring of muscle more and more, scissoring his fingers, which causes Zak to moan some more into Nick’s waiting mouth. Nick’s heart is throbbing in his chest, nerves and excitement still thundering in his veins, and it is elevated by the aroused state of his soulmate beneath him; he has never wanted anything more. He has never wanted anyone more. He never desired Veronique like this.

The ring of muscle opens up more under Nick’s fingers and Zak is an aroused mess beneath him, as his cock pokes at Nick’s own. The older man kisses him again, noticing that Zak’s touch is getting sloppy. Not that Nick minds.

“You’re almost open for me, Zak,” Nick whispers and he is slightly surprised at how filthy the statement is and that it came from  _ his _ mouth.

“Fuck. Yes,” Zak is only speaking with one words and Nick is curious to see what that mouth of his will do when Nick’s cock is deep within him.

Nick looks down at Zak’s cock and his fingers beneath it, moving in a out of his body. The cock is aching, precum dripping from the tip, and Zak’s legs are spread, resting flat against the bed in a very relaxed and aroused pose. He knows Zak is ready now.

Pulling away, Nick reaches for the condom, leaving a  _ whining _ Zak Bagans on their bed. He swiftly tears the golden wrapper apart and puts it on as quickly as Nick is physically possible. Leaning back over Zak, Nick places one arm, the one with his black writing, next to Zak’s shoulder and the other grasps the shaft of his cock, as he gets closer to Zak’s hole. Nick closes in on Zak’s lips, sealing them in a kiss as he pushes in through the ring of muscle. Zak’s lips open, gasping and blue eyes going wide at the evasion of something larger than normal being pushed into his ass. 

“Fuck,” Nick cannot tell if the tone is from pain or pleasure.

“Are you okay?” Nick sighs, fully aware of Zak’s ass clamping down around his cock, shooting spikes of pleasure through his body. 

“Yes,” Zak’s hands sneak down across Nick’s hips to his ass, fingers digging into the cheeks, and, suddenly, Zak pushes Nick all the way in.

Nick gasps, his hand falling to mirror the other, as he leans over Zak completely, “Fuck.”

“Move,” Zak commands, more so than asks, “Please. I want to feel you.”

Nick obliges, starting with small thrusts, moving only a few centimeters in and out of Zak’s hole. The older man’s fingers still dig into Nick’s ass, pulling him back in. Leaning further, Nick kisses Zak’s throat, basking in the heavy moans emanating from Zak’s mouth in his ear and the gentle rumble in his chest. Zak’s fingers leave Nick’s ass and trail up his back, fingernails scraping as they go. Instead, Zak’s legs wrap around Nick’s hips, ankles hooking behind him. The movement causes Nick to surge forward impossibly deeper into Zak’s ass.

“Nick,” Zak sighs and it is borderline a quiet scream.

Warmth is pooling in Nick’s groin, spiraling out of control, but so is the stirring of something in his chest. Nick can feel the black writing on his left wrist itch and heat up, but is not painful or unbearable, but rather another sense heightening the pleasure between them. It sends even more sparks of desire igniting in his body.

“Do you feel that?” Nick cries out in Zak’s ear, licking at the earlobe and the shell. 

“Yes,” Zak replies, emphasizing his point by moving his right arm up Nick’s back. Nick can practically feel the heat coming off Zak’s black writing, seeping into his flesh.

Nick’s thrusts speed up, centimeters becoming inches when he leaves Zak’s body. The older man bucks beneath him, spine arching into Nick slightly. This was not what Nick was expecting from gay sex. It is so much more. It is so much more. It is so much more.

His wrists continues to itch, but the heat intensifies, till his skin feels hot, but so does the rest of his body. Zak sparked a fire within Nick’s body and Nick knows that there is no way he can extinguish the flame. It will burn like a mine fire.  _ Forever _ .

“Zak,” Nick moans loudly, teeth nipping at Zak’s ear, throat, and lips. 

He is getting sloppy too with his kisses, but Zak does not care. Zak only wants to feel Nick in their lonely hotel room in the middle of Virginia City. Wrists itchy and heating up as their bond is intensified. A couple more thrusts and Zak is a the turning point. 

He breathes loudly, his chest heaving as he feels a powerful orgasm stretch in his body. Baring his throat, Zak’s mouth is agape and his vision goes black. His hips snap forward of their own accord, impaling him back on Nick’s cock. His spine arches perfectly into Nick’s stomach and Nick loves this sight before him of Zak in throws of passion.

“Fuck!” Zak moans so loudly that Nick swears Aaron and their two other friends, Billy and Jay, are going to hear them, but Nick does not care. 

Nick is only memorized by the look of ecstasy on Zak’s face, on his soulmates face. He feels Zak’s seed against his abdomen, dripping back onto Zak’s own. Zak’s fingers claw at his back, leaving little moon-shaped indents on Nick’s flesh, and Nick wants to do the same to Zak. 

Leaning back down, he kisses the flesh of Zak’s shoulder, pistoning his hips some more. Nick can feel himself approaching his end, approaching pure pleasure. His movements become a little more instinctive and sporadic against Zak’s own. Zak can feel it and kisses Nick’s shoulder, whispering in his ear about how good he feels in Zak, how he fills Zak up perfectly, how Zak never wants anyone else to touch him… no,  _ to love him _ , Nick hears. 

“Zak,” Nick, suddenly, cries out, his hips shoving forward, burying himself deep within Zak. As he finishes saying the older man’s name, he bites down on Zak’s shoulder, making sure to leave little indents of his teeth there.

“Nick,” Zak sighs.

As the condom fills with Nick’s seed, he falls on top of Zak, making sure though he did not hurt the older man. Zak caresses Nick’s back, soothing the tense muscles as they fall apart under ecstasy and his touch. Nick’s breath is warm against Zak’s throat, his nose nudging at his earlobe.

“I love you.”

The words fall from Nick’s tired mouth before he knows what he has said, but he does not want to take them back. He wants Zak to know. Zak does not tense beneath him, but remains relaxed, fingertips tracing Nick’s back muscles in almost ticklish manner.

“I love you, too, Nick.”

 


	9. | CHAPTER EIGHT |

Zak is now twenty and so is Nick. They are hiding in the shadows again this night, sitting in the back row of the movie theater like a pair of horny teenagers. Zak’s hand is down Nick’s pants, but no one seems to notice, the very few people that there are in the theater. Everyone is far too busy watching the horror movie that came out weeks ago, the spoilers already across the internet. Nick and Zak are among the few, or only, people who are not paying attention to the screaming blonde as she trips and falls trying to get away from the villian. 

Nick bites his lips to hold back a moan as Zak’s hand is wrapped around his cock. He is trying his best not to let a single sound come out. From the smirk on Zak’s face, it is obvious that Zak is very much trying to get a sound out of Nick, but he is not going to give his soulmate the pleasure of pulling it from him.

Zak’s fingers tighten slightly and Nick is glad the blonde screams loudly as she meets her demise on the screen because he lets a moan slip past his lips. Well, there goes that promise, he thinks. Teeth appear behind Zak’s smirk and he leans down, taking Nick’s cock in his mouth. Fingers thread into Zak’s soft hair, he gently encourages Zak to continue.  _ Cheeky, _ he thinks.

Staring down at his lap, Nick angles his head so he can watch his cock disappear in between Zak’s lips. The warm wetness of Zak’s mouth is shooting sparks of pleasure through his body. Nick would be perfectly content in staying here in the back of the movie theater with his cock in Zak’s mouth forever.

“Mhmmm,” Nick moans lightly, “Zak.”

Zak’s mouth vibrates, starting at the back of his throat and ending at his lips, in response to Nick’s vocal pleasure. In response, Nick tightens his hold on Zak’s hair causing Zak to do it again. Nick’s hips snap up before he can stop them, bites his lips, and he shoots his seed into Zak’s mouth. Almost feeling like he is going to cum again with the sucking motion Zak is doing as he swallows. Nick moans through his teeth again, his chest heaving, as he tries his best of be quiet.

Zak leans back into his spot beside Nick, sapphire eyes glistening and a knowing smirk on his face. The younger man sees in the corner of Zak’s mouth a little bit of his seed and watches as Zak’s tongue sneaks out and licks it away.

“Fuck,” he whispers at the sight, as he stuffs his cock back into his pants.

“Later,” Zak winks and settles into his seat further, much more closer to Nick than before. His shoulder touches Nick’s and his left hand sneaks into Nick’s lap to grab the younger man’s hand. His head falls on Nick’s shoulder and, for a moment, Nick thinks about where he is at, that someone will see them and recognize them. But, Nick knows no one will.

So, Nick squeezes Zak’s hand and leans into Zak as well, placing his head on top of the older man’s. Zak sighs happily beneath him. They continue to watch the movie, completely content with being with one another, and surrounded by darkness.

\------------------------

It is much later that night and they are walking down the street, knowing to stay away from the Strip. Zak leans into Nick with an arm wrapped around his waist, head leaning against his shoulder; Nick wraps his arm around Zak’s shoulder and holds him to his side. His warmth leaks into Zak, heating his body up against the cool desert night. 

“I wish we could stay like this,” Zak murmurs beneath his breath. 

Nick sighs, “I wish, as well.”

“I wish we didn’t have to hide.”

“You know why.”

Zak freezes in his spot, Nick shuffling a little ahead before turning to look at him. The older man is staring at him, blue diving into brown, “No, I don’t, Nick. I don’t know why. I don’t understand.”

Nick glances around before walking up to Zak, grasping his hand, the one with the writing with his own tattooed hand, “I can’t just leave Veronique, Zak. Despite where my heart lays, I still care for her and I know she still loves me. I don’t want to hurt her.”

“But, you’re hurting me.”

Nick squeezes Zak’s hand, “I don’t want to hurt you, either.”

“Divorce her, Nick.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes. You can. You don’t love her.”

“You don’t understand.”

Zak sighs and lets go of Nick’s hand, walking off ahead of him. Nick’s gaze watches him walk away. He never wants to see this sight again, he thinks as he dashes to catch up with Zak, grabbing his right hand once again, “Please, let’s not do this, now, Zak. Let’s just enjoy the moment.”

Zak sighs, again, this time it seems more to exhale his anger than actually being angry. They are silent as they continue to walk in no particular direction. But, Zak soon leans back into Nick, placing his head on Nick’s shoulder once again. He does not see the soft smile on Nick’s face. 

 


	10. | CHAPTER NINE |

Zak is half way through his twenty-first year and Nick is, too. It is getting harder and harder to ignore one another on investigations. All that they want to do is just hold onto one another and stay next to each other, but they cannot; they have Aaron to worry about and Billy and Jay and their TV show. They cannot just simply drop everything and go run off into the hills together, never looking back. They cannot just simply be with one another on these investigations. The world would never approve of their relationship, besides the fact that they have soulmate markings. They are forced to hide.

“What if we did a return to Goldfield?” Nick snaps his head away from his spot on the wall he was staring at to his soulmate.

“Oh man, that would be fucking awesome!” Aaron cheers.

“Are you guys sure you want to return?” Billy asks, looking at Zak more so than anyone else, “You guys did not particularly have a great time last time we were there.”

“It would get the rating back up,” Jay argues, but there is a sense of uncertainty to his voice. 

“I’m perfectly fine with returning,” Zak replies, “We have close connections with the ghosts there and I think it would be interesting for our viewers. Think about the extra evidence we could get with the new equipment,” Zak turns to look at Nick, a twinkle in his blue eyes, “What if we caught the brick again, but in HD? What if we caught that shadow person Nick saw on better footage? What if-?”

“Alright!” Billy laughs, “We get it.”

“So, what do you guys think?” Zak asks.

“I’m in!” Aaron yells.

Jay shakes his head, “Why not. I want to see what you guys saw.”

“Billy?” 

“Yeah,” Billy nods.

Zak turns to Nick, “Nick? Are you okay? You haven’t said anything?” there is something in the tone of his voice that strikes Billy as odd. An almost caring and loving tone that extends beyond a friend checking up on a friend.

_ Like a lover’s whisper in your ear,  _ Billy thinks.

Nick nods slowly, “I’m in, if you are.”

Zak smiles brightly, “Then it is set. We’ll head to Virginia City tomorrow.”

\------------------------

It is investigation time and Nick can feel the high in his veins from the last twenty four hours of playing with the rest of the crew and being with Zak as he steps into the old building. But, it runs cold as a negative energy enters his blood stream. It feels like ice and it makes Nick worry. He turns around to glance at Aaron, catching a glimpse of his eyes illuminated by the LCD screen. Nick can tell Aaron is feeling it as well, though Aaron had no idea what this hotel can do to someone like Nick knew.

“Hello! Can you talk to us?” Zak speaks loudly into the darkness ahead of Nick and Aaron. 

“Zak!” Nick calls out to him, “Be careful, man.”

“I know, Nick,” Zak speaks back to him in a loud whisper, continuing to advance down the hallway to Elizabeth’s room. 

Nick rolls his eyes at his lover. Zak is always ever persistent, as Nick’s cock knows so well. At the thoughts of Zak touching him, he can feel his cock twitch in his pants; Nick shuts his eyes, trying to think about other things and not Zak’s fingers, not Zak’s warm mouth…  _ Fuck _ , Nick thinks. Now is not a good time to get be getting a hard-on. 

“Can you make a noise for us?” Zak speaks loudly again, his voice booming with authority. 

Everything is so silent around them. It makes Nick feel off, like something is about to happen, something big. He shifts a glance to Aaron again, who is to busy shuffling to the side trying to get a good shot of Zak and Nick in frame for later. Nick returns his gaze to Zak, watching his back in the LCD of his own screen, careful not to get too close to him. He just does not want their fans to see the sparks flying between him and Zak, least of all his wife, who will be watching this as well.

Nick purges his wife from his mind, as he does not want to think about her. Every time he is with Zak, he feels like going back to her is cheating on Zak, on what their marks stand for. And when he returns back to Zak, he feels like he is cheating on her, on what their rings stand for. More so, he just does not want to think about the confusion in his wife’s eyes every time she asks why he covers his wrist, why he refuses to let her touch it, whatever “it” was.

“Nick,” Zak suddenly cries out, “Nick. Nick. Nick.”

“What’s up, man?” Nick rushes forward toward him.

Zak stands frozen in his spot, just outside Elizabeth’s room, and Nick can see the LCD screen shaking in Zak’s hands, “Nick. It’s so cold.”

Nick turns to look at Aaron, unsure of what to do; Aaron shakes his head in warning and walks up to Zak, placing a hand on Zak’s back, “Jesus, dude!” Aaron snaps his hand back from Zak’s body, “You’re sweaty!”

Nick is really worried now and pushes Aaron’s warning away, grabbing Zak’s upper arm, “Zak!”

Zak’s skin is hot beneath his touch, like it is burning, but he keeps saying that he is cold, “So fucking cold, dude. I can’t move,” and Zak’s chest begins to heave, “I can’t move, Nick,” he can hear the tears in his voice, “I can’t move, Nick. Nick. Nick.”

Nick turns his camera off, handing off to Aaron, who fumbles with it as he continues to record; Nick usually is the one who will keep recording a moment like this, but Nick is to worried about Zak’s well being and the emotion in his voice. Some things are not worth the footage or the ratings. Rushing forward fully, Nick wraps his arms around Zak’s body, pulling gently on the muscular body, but it seems like Zak has been super-glued to the floor. 

Zak is screaming now, burying his face in Nick’s chest. In Aaron’s LCD screen, he can see that Zak’s blue eyes have glazed over in a black haze, but Aaron is frozen as well from the shock at what he is seeing. Nick cannot see the sight. 

In Zak’s mind, he is seeing visions. Everything is black, except for the middle of his sight where bodies lay. A force moves Zak toward one body and his hand turns it over. The brown hair and the brown goatee are matted with blood and the brown eyes Zak so loved were wide with fear, frozen. 

Zak is still screaming now and he can still not move. He clutches at Nick, like he is trying to get inside of him. Holding tightly to him, Nick coos him, trying to calm him down, trying to get him out of this odd possession. Nothing is helping. Nothing is helping. Zak is still screaming, but he is crying now; his tears dripping on Nick’s shirt.

A loud growl, suddenly, echoes across the hotel hallway and a gush of warm wind sweeps through them, sending Aaron’s camera’s flying from his hands and crashing to the ground. Aaron yelps, jumping and backs up to the wall, placing some space between him and Nick and Zak. Nick holds onto Zak, not letting go, his fingers bruising Zak’s flesh.

Brown eyes look down the hallway behind Zak and he freezes, his voice dying in his throat. A figure, tall and lanky, stands at the end of the hallway. It is a shadow and moves slowly back and forth. Gradually, it raises one lanky arm toward Nick, “He is mine,” a voice, deep and inhuman speaks from it.

Nick tightens his hold on to a screaming Zak in response.

“He is mine!”

Nick finally is able to tear his eyes away from the figure and buries his face into the side of Zak’s neck, Zak’s screams deafening in his ears. His wrist is burning again, not how it was when he and Zak first had sex, but it hurts. He feels like something is trying to snap within him, but Nick holds on so tightly. All he can think about is Zak. 

_ Zak laughing. Zak’s sapphire eyes sparkling. Zak’s voice moaning his name. Zak rolling his eyes at something Nick said. Zak holding him tightly. Zak saying he is glad that he met Nick. Zak holding his hand as they walk down the street. Zak’s mouth against his own. Zak’s name on Nick’s wrist. Zak’s nineteenth birthday party when he looked up after making his wish. Zak’s smile as he gently runs his fingertips along his goatee last night. Zak’s warmth. Zak’s aura. Zak’s strength. Zak’s love.  _

“He’s mine,” Nick whispers gently.

And like that, everything is calm. The wind stops. The voice stops calling out. Zak’s screams stop; he is only crying softly now. Zak pushes into Nick, shuffling closer, and wrapping his arms around Nick. Aaron is still frozen to his spot against the wall, unsure of what happened, and he is the first to speak.

“What the fuck, dude?” Aaron cries out, “What the fuck was this? This was not fucking cool, man. Nick, tell me you saw that figure at the end of the hall. Please, tell me you fucking saw that. What the fuck was that? What the fuck was all of this? What the fuck is up with this hotel? No…. Dude…”

Nick looks up from the hollow of Zak’s neck and connects his gaze with Aaron, “It’s this hotel, Aaron. It fucks you up.”

“Nick,” Zak whispers against Nick’s neck, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Nick replies, nuzzling into the side of Zak’s head, “Don’t be.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Come on,” Nick pulls on Zak gently, “Let’s get out of here. Fuck this hotel.”

Zak allows Nick to pull him from the hotel and into the desert night air, into the van with a confused Billy and Jay. They drive away from the hotel and back to their own hotel for only a moment to pack things up. Zak is sitting on their bed, numb and frozen, as Nick runs around their room trying to put their clothes and such into their luggage. Once they have, everyone piles into their van. 

Billy is driving with Jay beside him, dozing slightly before Billy wakes him up to take over driving. Aaron is behind Billy, snoring loudly, his seat leaning back into the third row, where Nick and Zak are, but it does not bother them. Nick is nestled in the corner seat with Zak against him, their arms wrapped around one another; his head is resting on top of Zak’s listening to the sound of Zak’s gentle snoring. Nick, though, cannot sleep as he cannot stop thinking about what the figure had said and what Zak had seen, as Zak told him when they were packing. 

Nick almost lost Zak. Almost lost their bond. That was what the figure wanted. Nick holds Zak more tightly in his grasp, his brown gaze lowering as he falls into a deep sleep as well. 

 


	11. | CHAPTER TEN |

Zak is twenty-two now and Nick wants to do something special for him, in addition to celebrating almost five years of officially being soulmates. It is late Friday night and Las Vegas comes alive, breathing life. The Sierra Mountains let lose a cool breeze over the warm desert landscape and it ruffles through Nick’s hair. 

He is waiting outside of Zak’s house in his car for Zak, who is busy trying to get himself together. Nick rolls his eyes. It is not like this is their first “date,” but Zak still feels the need to try and impress Nick, which he finds absolutely adorable. But, Nick is the pot calling the kettle black, as he is dressed up for the occasion as well. Decked out in black jeans, he has a simple dark grey shirt on with his leather jacket on top. He rarely wears it, as Nick easily gets hot in it quickly, but he knows Zak loves when he wears it. 

__ _ “You look badass, bro,” Zak winks. _

The door to Zak’s house opens and the older man comes racing down the sidewalk to Nick’s car, locking the front door behind him. Nick swallows thickly as his brown eyes run over Zak’s outfit. He, as well, wears his signature black jeans and tight fitting black shirt that highlights the muscles of his chest underneath. A silver belt buckle glistens between his hips, drawing Nick’s eyes to the spot. Zak opens the car door and jumps in, all smiles and teeth.

“Hi, Nick,” Zak sighs happily.

Nick leans across the center console of his Mustang, hand raised to the side of Zak’s face. He smiles as their lips connect in a soft kiss, but Nick pulls away from as quickly as he was there. Zak pouts, bottom lip pushed out, and his blue eyes sparkle.

Nick laughs as he puts the car in gear and begins pulling out of Zak’s driveway, “No puppy eyes.”

Zak imitates a fake puppy whimper, like he had done when they investigated the Sacramento Tunnels and he was on a sugar rush. Shaking his head, Nick begins to drive out of their town’s limit, the buildings slowly disappearing and more mountains appearing. Zak wonders what Nick has planned, as Nick is keeping it secret.

“Where are we going?” Zak asks.

Nick smiles, “Nowhere and everywhere.”

“Sounds like the beginning of a bad chick flick,” Zak teases.

Nick laughs, “Watching them, now, are you?”

Zak makes a fake gagging noise, “Please. How dare you insist that I am?” 

Nick continues laughing, “It’s a surprise. I want to do something special and it is kind of cheesy.”

Zak gives Nick a puzzled expression, “How cheesy? No flowers, dude.”

Nick shakes his head with a chuckle, “No. No flowers.”

Slowly, the Mustang approaches a dirt road and Nick takes it, turning on to the uneven road. It sends Zak and Nick jumping up and down in their seats with all the potholes and rough spots. Zak hangs on to his door like his life depends on it, knuckles white.

“Jesus, dude!” Zak cries out, “Where the fuck are we going? Where the fuck are we?”

“Almost there,” is Nick’s only reply. 

They are driving closer and closer to the mountains, the flat landscape around them turning into little hills and arroyos. The road beneath them seems to have disappeared and Nick is simply driving off road, but Zak can see the vague outlines of tire tracks ahead of them, so he knows Nick is still following the road. Zak continues to hold on to his door, clenching it tightly each time Nick hits a pothole.

“Are you even trying to avoid the potholes?” Zak asks.

Nick only smirks before the car starts to travel up an incline and Zak can see that they are on top of a medium size projection of the mountain. The edge appears before them, a sheer drop off to the arroyo valley below. Slowly, the car comes to a stop, giving a lot of room between the cliff side and the car. Nick turns the ignition to pause, so the engine is off, but the lights are still on, along with the radio. 

Zak looks at Nick, “So?”

Nick rolls his eyes, “Here’s our date.”

Zak nods, “Alright, what are we doing here?”

“I want you to see something,” Nick opens his door and gets out. Zak follows suit slowly, unsure of what his soulmate has up his sleeve. 

Nick walks to the front of the car on careful footsteps. The car’s headlights flooding the space before them and darkened their features. Zak comes to stand next to him and he stares mouth agape at the scene before him. Vegas is illuminated, shining brightly amongst the darkness. In the background, the sun is almost completely gone, giving the sky a deep purple color before disappearing into black. It makes the city look like a glistening jewel on a deep purple fabric. 

“Wow, it’s like a thousand diamonds,” Zak comments in awe.

Nick turns to look at Zak, who is still absorbing the sight before him, but, to Nick, Zak is his sight. Zak is the one glistening like a thousand diamonds.  _ God, I want to spend the rest of my life with you _ , he thinks, but then his wife pops in his head. Nick pulls his gaze away from Zak. Instead, he shuffles closer to Zak, wrapping his arm around Zak’s shoulders. Zak leans into the warm body, head resting on Nick’s shoulder.

“This is gorgeous, Nick,” Zak replies, “How did you find it?”

“When I first moved to Vegas,” Nick tells him, “I went for a drive. I needed some peace of mind from the rush of moving across country, away from my family, to college and then dealing with all the work. I don’t remember exactly how I found this place, but I’m sure glad I did.”

“I would never want to leave this place.”

“I don’t want to,” Nick admits.

Zak turns to look at the younger man and smiles softly. Lovingly, he leans closer and connects their lips in a gentle kiss. Nick shuts his eyes, relying on what his lips know like second nature. Zak’s mark is heating up again, but he ignores it as he always does when he is with Nick. He uses it to signify just how much he loves being with Nick.

Nick pulls away slightly, leaving only a breath of space between them. His eyes are barely open as if he just woke up from a deep slumber. He laughs a little, his breath tickling Zak, “Wait here. I’ve got another surprise.”

He steps away from Zak completely, leaving him alone for a moment as he walks back to his car. Zak watches him leave, eyebrows furrowed as to what his soulmate is up to now. Reaching into the car, Nick plugs in his phone and selects a song, turning the volume up on his phone and on the car. A smooth jazz-like song emanates from the speakers. Zak smiles.

“I know it is clichéd, but I’ve been wanting to do this forever,” Nick slowly walks back to Zak, holding his hand out to him

Zak shakes his head, “You are just full of surprises, Nick.”

The older man grasps Nick’s hand, allowing the other man to pull him into a tight embrace. Nick’s arm is around Zak’s right hip and the other grasps his hand; Zak holds onto NIck’s upper arm and his hand. With a teasing smile, Nick replies, “And I gladly give them all to you, Zak.”

_ Come away with me in the night _

Slowly, Nick began to move back and forth in his spot. Zak followed suit and began to laugh, before shifting forward closer to Nick and tightening his hold on Nick’s hands. They were barely a couple breaths apart and Nick was still smiling.

_ Come away with me _ _   
_ __ _ And I will write you a song _

Nick’s feet began to move across the dirt, taking Zak with him, as they danced a few steps, but it just made Zak laugh harder at how cliched this all was. Nick could not help, but laugh as well. Their eyes connected and the laughter faded from Nick’s lips and they fell in closer to one another. Dropping their hands, Nick wrapped his arms around Zak’s waist, while Zak looped his arms around Nick’s neck. 

_ Come away with me on a bus _

Leaning forward, Zak’s forehead kissed Nick’s own. Blue eyes poured into brown. Nick sighed softly; their breaths mingled with one another. They slow danced together in front of Nick’s car, the headlights illuminating them, and the Vegas lights bright in the background. Zak closed his eyes and simply basked in the present moment of slow dancing with his soulmate. 

_ Come away where they can't tempt us, with their lies _

Nick pulled his head from Zak’s and leaned into the juncture of his neck. His hand, the one with Zak’s name on it, caressed Zak’s hip. A gentle voice entered Zak’s ear and he realized soon that Nick was singing. 

“ _ And I want to walk with you _ ,” Nick sang gently, his baritone voice rumbling through Zak’s ear drums and soothing him, “ _ On a cloudy day. In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high _ .”

Zak was so content in his soulmate’s arms. He could barely feel any pressure. He felt weightless and warm. Soon he found himself drifting to the day Nick’s name appeared on his wrist and how worried he was for it all, how painful dealing with it will be. Zak realized he was stupid and young and ignorant to the possibilities. This moment was everything to him.

“ _ So won't you try to come _ ,” Nick’s voice continued to sing in his ears as they barely moved across the desert floor, “ _ Come away with me and we’ll kiss _ ,” at this moment, Nick turned to Zak and blindly found the other’s lips. They kissed softly, Zak’s fingers digging into Nick’s scalp. Nick missed the next line, but Zak could hear the female voice sing it for them.

_ On a mountaintop _

Zak was the first to pull away and he stared up into Nick’s brown eyes, both of their gaze’s sparkling with love and adoration. A smile spread across Zak’s face, “No matter how cheesy this is. I love it, Nick.”

Nick did not reply, but continued to sing, bringing Zak closer once again, burying his nose into the juncture of Zak’s neck and shoulder, “ _ Come away with me. And I'll never stop loving you. _ ”

They were so content in each other’s arms with the warm glow of the car’s headlights and the bright carpet of a thousand lights behind them. The world could have ended for either of them and they not have noticed or cared. They had each other. They had their connection. And that was enough. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: song is come away with me by norah jones (sorry it is overused and cheesy but it worked for this scene and the emotions I wanted to show.)


	12. | CHAPTER ELEVEN |

Zak and Nick are both twenty four, a ripe age of freedom and love and everything else associated with youth. They had the whole world before them, hiding in the shadows, which seemed odd and contradictory. However, with their line of work, the darkness was the best place for them. So, they had a whole dark world before them, but the universe seemed to be working against their bond. Nick could feel it with every step he took. He was worried that someone would recognize them, someone would see what they really had, someone would tell his wife. Every moment was precious.

“Come with me, Zak,” Nick had whispered in his soulmate’s ear as he leaned over the naked muscular body beside him in bed. The sun was starting to set in the background; the last rays of light streaming through their window. Orange light ignited Zak’s dark hair.

“Wha-?” Zak’s groggy voice answered him, blue eyes opening sleepily to peer up at the younger man, “Nick? What is it?”

“Come,” Nick pulled lightly on Zak’s arm, a smile bright on his face.

Zak groaned and moaned, shoving his face back into the pillow, as he grounded himself back into the bed, hips pressed into the mattress “No, Nick. Sleep,” his voice muffled in the pillow.

Nick leaned forward, running his fingers through Zak’s thick hair. He gently kissed the side of Zak’s head, his lips moving anywhere he wanted with no particular pattern across the hair and skin. Lips caressed the shell of Zak’s ear. Softly, Nick spoke,  “Come with me, Zak. Let’s go for a walk.”

Zak, slowly, turned his head to the side so their faces were barely a few breaths apart, “And why would I want to go for a walk with you when we can stay here and have as much sex as we want before we head to the lockdown tomorrow night?”

Nick laughed, “You and sex.”

Zak pulled an arm out from under the covers and draped it around Nick’s neck, “Yes, me and sex,” and leaned forward, placing a kiss on Nick’s lips.

“You’re insatiable!” Nick responded to the kiss feverishly.

“You love it,” Zak pulled away.

Nick rolled his brown eyes, “Now, come on, Zak. Let’s go!”

Zak sighed, “Alright. Alright. Alright.”

Sitting up, he threw the covers off and lowered his legs to the side of the bed, before standing up. Nick watched his butt-naked soulmate walk across the floor to the bathroom. More like sashayed as Zak’s hips moved exaggeratedly, more than usual.

“Though I don’t know why we should waste this perfectly good shower and bed for a walk!” Zak called out, a smile in his voice.

Nick growled, a smile on his face as well, as he shot off the bed and walked into the bathroom, just as Zak turned the shower on, “Why can’t we do both then?”

Zak smirked as he watched his soulmate step into the shower with him. He wrapped his arms around Nick’s neck, pulling him close, “Got ya!”

Nick rolled his eyes, grabbing Zak’s hips and snapping his hips forward to Zak, “Tease,” and kissed the older man gently as the shower poured over them. Zak had Nick exactly where he wanted him-- sex. Their walk could wait a few moments. Every moment was precious, after all. 

The younger man’s hands slid over Zak’s hips and down to his ass, squeezing each cheek in his hands and pushing Zak forward so his cock rubbed against Nick’s. Their lips grew rough as Nick tried to achieve dominance over Zak. It was only a small battle before Zak gave in, as he always did, and moaned beneath Nick’s touch. 

“I’ll fuck you good into this wall if we can go for a walk after wards,” Nick’s lips trailed across Zak’s cheeks and jaw to his ear.

“What makes you think I’ll be able to walk after wards if you’re going to fuck me good?” Zak bit at Nick’s earlobe.

Nick growled, “I’ll give you one reason to walk,” and he slid his finger down between Zak’s ass cheeks to his hole, lightly tracing around his entrance.

Zak moaned, his head tossed back as he fell back against the shower wall, “That’s a very good reason.”

Brown eyes zeroed in on the thick column of flesh and lips and teeth attached themselves to it. One pale, muscular leg raised to wrap around Nick’s thigh, heel digging into the back of Nick’s knee. Nick bucked his hips forward into Zak’s pelvis as he sucked purple bruises into Zak’s neck; his finger slipped into the hole, rubbing in small circular motions on the ring of muscle. 

“Fuck me, Nick,” Zak moaned, fingers clutching at Nick’s back, water splashing on their flesh.

“I don’t have any more lube,” Nick whispered, “I can’t.”

Zak sighed, “I don’t care, Nick. I’ll be ready for you.”

Nick shook his head, “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Touch me, at least!” Zak spoke loudly, “I want to feel you. Around me, on me, in me, I don’t care.”

Nick pulled his finger away and one hand drifted down between their bodies to grasp Zak’s hard cock, “Like this?”

Zak gasped, eyes practically rolling back in his head as Nick slowly jerked his hand up and down, “Fuck yes.”

“Or like this?” Nick whispered as he let go of Zak’s cock and slid down on his knees, Zak’s leg falling from Nick’s thigh. Gently, Nick’s tongue poked out from his lips, licking a stripe of saliva up Zak’s cock.

“Shit,” Zak gasped again, his fingers falling into Nick’s hair to thread through the strands.

Nick works his mouth on Zak’s cock, tongue sliding around the tip, the slit, and the vein underneath. Vibrations soak through his skin and come out of Zak’s mouth again. Each touch is sending Zak over the edge till he cannot feel his toes and his vision goes white.

“Fuck, Nick!” Zak moans, mouth agape as he feels the warmth snap in his navel, and he sends his seed down Nick’s throat, who almost greedily swallows it. 

Zak’s chest heaves as Nick rises from the shower floor and leans into Zak. His lips kiss Zak and the older man can taste himself, the salt, on the other man’s lips, “Let’s go for that walk now.”

Zak laughs breathlessly as Nick turns the water off and steps out of the shower. They were so in love. So  _ dangerously  _ in love with each other. 

\------------------------

They walk closely together on the beach before their hotel. Not touching hands, but close enough for anyone looking for their bond could see it. Neither of them wore the pieces of fabric to cover their marks. They did not care at the present moment. No one was really out and about that afternoon, which Nick found odd, but he basked in how utterly alone they were in the setting sun. 

The sky above them was turning a dark purple and a cool breeze hung in the air. Nick could taste the coming night on his tongue and caressing his lips like a lover. Slowly, Nick reached out blindly next to him, shivering as his fingers came in contact with the cold metal of Zak’s rings, and grasped the hand. Nick’s fingers slid in between Zak’s own like a glove. Seemingly perfect. Zak glances at Nick and around them before tightening his hold and shuffling closer to Nick’s body. 

They walk along the section of sand where the tide washes over it and compacting it. The water is warm beneath their toes. The sun disappears finally beneath the horizon. Pausing in his step, Nick looks upward; Zak coming to a stop beside him, but looking at Nick first before following his gaze upward. 

“I love the stars,” Nick comments softly, his voice just barely a whisper, as brown eyes transverse across the summer night sky. 

“Yeah,” Zak’s voice is deep in his ear, as he steps next to Nick.

“Makes me feel less alone at night.”

“How so?” Zak asks, “The stars are so distant and far away from us.”

“It’s because of that fact that I feel less alone,” Nick answers, “Despite how far away they are, you can still see them,” Nick turns to look at Zak, staring at his his blue eyes darken at night and the stars twinkle within them. They look like mini galaxies, “Despite how far away you are, I can still see you.”

Zak turns to look at Nick, the stars disappearing from his eyes as Nick’s own reflection takes over, though Nick cannot see himself within them. Zak understands the metaphor and smiles, “Don’t think that way, Nick. Yes, you have to return to Veronique when the day is done, but we are still here. We will always have one another.”

Nick sighs happily, a soft smile on his face, “Yes, you are right,” and he steps closer to Zak, raising a hand to cup Zak’s cheek, rough from the days of not shaving. Nick kind of likes it as it makes Zak look scruffier and like Nick’s own personal lumberjack. 

“Of course I’m right,” Zak snarkily remarks causing Nick to laugh.

“God, I love you,” and he leans forward, kissing his lips softly beneath the stars. 

“I love you too, Nick,” Zak replies after Nick’s lips leave his.

“Can I tell you something, right now?” Nick asks, as Zak wraps his arms around Nick’s waist.

Zak nods, “Yeah. What is it?”

“If I could, if it was legal in the U.S.,” Nick says this so softly, “I would want to marry you.”

Laughter spills from Zak’s lips before he can control it, “Marry? Nick, seriously?”

Nick disregards it all, “I would want to marry you, so we could spend the rest of our lives together.”

“We can do that--we are already doing that-- without marriage, Nick,” Zak drops his arms from Nick’s waist, stepping back from him, “Why marry me?”

“So we can buy a house together, start a family, be with one another like man-and-wife, Zak!” Nick steps toward him, “Don’t you want that?”

“Of course I do!” Zak steps forward, “But I don’t see how marriage has to signify it. It’s just a paper document. Technically,” Zak raises his arm toward Nick, showing him his name in black writing on his skin, “Technically, we are married, Nick. We’ve been married since before we knew each other. Don’t think I don’t want to marry you, Nick. Even if we weren’t marked, of course, I would want to marry you and for all the reasons you just said. But, we are married, Nick. Not on paper. Not legally, but we are. In soul. In mind. In heart. We are tied together. We don't need no paper. It is not going to change the fact we are meant to be together. No  _ person _ is going to change that, Nick.”

Thinking Nick would say something back, Zak was not expecting Nick to come flying at him, knocking them both to the ground, sand spraying around them. Nick kissed Zak like he was the power behind the shifting sky and the reason the stars shimmered above them. Nick kissed Zak like this would be the last time they saw each other.

When Nick pulled away, Zak felt breathless, “What was that for?”

“Because I love you and everything you just said,” Nick replied softly, “We are married. How stupid of me to think that-.”

“Not stupid,” Zak injected, “In love.”

Nick laughed, “How in love of me to think that that we weren’t. The force behind these marks,” as he said this, he reached out with his left hand that had Zak’s name on it to cover Zak’s right hand with Nick’s name on it, “Made us connected.  _ Nothing _ can stand in their way.”

“Nothing can stand in our way,” Zak echoed as he kissed Nick’s lips once more.

 


	13. | CHAPTER TWELVE |

**NOTE: this chapter is really long due to… well, you’ll see why.**

It is weeks before Nick’s twenty-fifth birthday and he is laying in his bed next to his wife staring up at the ceiling. Zak is constantly on his mind. Always on his mind. Laying there, he wonders if Zak is thinking of him. Nick smiles softly at the thought. Of course he is on Zak’s mind. They are so  _ dangerously  _ in love with one another. 

Nick tastes the word “love” on his tongue. Sweet nectar on the tip. It is like the food of the gods and Nick wants more and more of it. He wants Zak more and more with each passing second. He wants Zak beside him as they stand over the edge of oblivion. He wants it all so bad. 

His wife shifts beside him and his head snaps to look at her, blonde curls falling over her face. Reaching out, Nick gently brushes them back. Blue eyes peer up at him as he does. Her soft voice asks, “Can’t sleep?”

He nods his head and sits up in bed, “Yeah. I think I’m gonna go for a run. Clear my head.”

Veronique reaches out and gently caresses Nick’s back. He knows she means it lovingly, but it just does not feel the same, “Alright. Don’t be gone long.”

“I won’t.”

And she falls back asleep after she hears the front door shut behind Nick. 

\------------------------

Nick stumbles in late at night into his house. Liquor and the scent of a man is leaking from his pores. Shutting the door as quietly as a drunk man can, Nick “tiptoes” into the kitchen. Turning the lights on, he does not see the figure behind him, until after he has reached into the refrigerator to grab the water pitcher. He turns to the kitchen table and his brown eyes connect with the very stern figure of his wife. 

“Fuck, Roni!” Nick almost drops the glass and the pitcher, but he quickly grabs it, “Whatcha doin’ up so late, babe?” his words slur and his Boston accent is so vivid.

His wife stands up and walks toward him, taking a sniff of him, “Enjoy your run?”

Nick smiles brightly, the liquor making him more overly happy than usual, “Yes,” he holds back the hiccup, “Yes, I did.”

“You stop by any place?” his wife is giving him a chance to admit what he had done, but Nick is so drunk he does not realize.

“Nope!” he holds back another hiccup as he puts the water pitcher back in the fridge and takes a sip of the water.

Veronique smiles, “Alright, honey. I’m sure you’re tired, so why don’t you go to bed. We can talk tomorrow.”

Nick leans forward, “Mkay. Love you, babe!” his lips missed and he ends up kissing her forehead, as if he was expecting her to be taller than what she actually was.

“Love you, too, Nick,” she watches him trip up the stairs and her smiles fades to a frown.

She knew Nick was out at a bar, for what reason she did not know. She also knew the male scent that was all over her husband. His clothes would reek of the masculine cologne every time he came back from a  _ Ghost Adventures _ trip. She knew who the scent belonged to.

When she and Nick were first dating, her mother had told her to be careful of him. Warned her that if she continued to date him that he would break her heart. Veronique knew her mother had watched Nick carefully the first time they met and she had seen how her gaze lingered on the band-aid on his wrist. Nick always wore it and he even had a box filled of them in his backpack, in case it ever came off, but she never thought anything of it. She was too young to think much else and it was Nick’s personal business.

It was the night before she and Nick were to be married when her mother came up to her in her bedroom. Veronique had thought that she had come by to give her something for her dress, but it was something else her mother wanted to give her. She told Veronique about soulmate marks and, though Veronique had a heard about them in school, she had not realized the full extent of them. She knew they were kept under the blanket and away from prying eyes in U.S. society, as they went against the freedom of choice that the U.S. so prized. If you had one, you had no control over who you end up with. The person that was marked on you was the only person you could be with. But, there were sides to the debate that said that these soulmate marks were much more valuable and should not be shunned. They made finding a “mate” easier and those who were paired almost always were happy together, very few cases said otherwise. Veronique’s mother warned her about them, but that was all. She knew that her mother told her for a reason, but Veronique could not see what the bridge connected to.

Now, Veronique was wondering what was under the white piece of fabric her husband had on his left wrist. What was he hiding? She glanced up the staircase, hearing Nick bang into his dresser and finally the squeak of the mattress as he settled into bed. She hated the idea she had in her head, but she needed to know. She needed to know to rest her mind, once and for all. 

\------------------------

Veronique stared at the lights of the dashboard of her car; her turn signal blinking and resounding its own rhythm. Click. Click. Pause. Click. Click. Pause. Click. Click. Pause. It was slowly grating on her nerves, but she did not touch it. All she could do was stare at the green arrow blinking in and out. How could this have happened to her?

She had waited till Nick was asleep and was snoring very loudly, as he always did when he was drunk. He was curled up into himself with his arm draped tightly around his stomach and his knees parallel to his hips, laying on his side. The covers were wrapped tightly around his form. Silently, she had come up beside him, waiting a couple seconds to study his sleeping form for any movement. When there was none, she had slowly reached for the covers, pulling them back, and had continued to observe Nick’s sleeping form. However, Nick was so drunk that sleep came with ease and nothing could really wake him. With elegant fingers, Veronique had grasped Nick’s left wrist and had gently lifted the soft fabric from his skin. 

Veronique had stood frozen in her place as she stared at the black writing maring her husbands skin. Her heart had shattered in her chest for a moment before a feeling like anger had melded it together, though her heart would never feel the same again. The writing formed a name and she knew the same  _ too well _ :

_ ‘Zak.’ _

Her worry of waking Nick left and Veronique had rushed down the stairs and out the door, slamming it behind her. Nick had stirred slightly, his snoring had stopped for a moment before starting up again, and he fell back into a deep slumber. Veronique, taking her car, had driven away from the house. She has no destination. She just drives and drives. Her mind is elsewhere, but her body continues to drive, like second nature, like it knew where to go.

But, Veronique eventually does stop. Perhaps in an empty parking lot in front of a closed storefront. Perhaps along a sidestreet. Perhaps in the middle of the desert. She does not notice where. All she is doing is staring at the green arrow on the dashboard of her car. Click. Click. Pause. Click. Click. Pause. Click. Click. Pause.

Her mother had been right. Her mother had been fucking right!

Veronique growled and hit the heel of her palm against the steering wheel.

How could she have not seen it? It was so obvious! The late nights, the extended lockdown trips that she knew Aaron was not along, the constant vibration of Nick’s phone at night, the curious glances when Nick did not think she was looking, the lack of attention she was receiving. Veronique was beginning to wonder why Nick was not opening his arms up to her in bed and why the topic of children was never brought up, even though they were financially stable and could comfortably raised a child. She loved him with all her heart. He was her first love and her highschool sweetheart; she could not imagine herself being with another guy. From the day she realized she was in love with him, she wanted to be the one to raise his children. 

“Damn you, Zak Bagans,” she growled as tears started to fall over her cheeks from her blue eyes. 

That fucking man took her husband in his talons and encased him in his deadly embrace. Veronique would have been fine if it was another woman’s name or even another guy. It was just the fact that it was Zak that bothered her.

Then, the realization dawned on her. From what her mother had told her, the marks appear when the person is young, which would mean that from the second they met, Zak and Nick knew it was them.  _ That fucking cunt _ , she thought,  _ stole Nick from me, as soon as he met us _ .

She cannot stop thinking about the possibility of what would have happened if Nick never met Zak. Nick would have been happy with her. Nick would have  _ loved _ her.

“Fuck you.”

\------------------------

Veronique returned back to her home later in the morning; sleep lay beneath her eyes, bruising the skin purple. Her blue eyes zeroed in on the silver Mustang in the driveway and felt her heart crack slightly. There was a small part of her that wished Nick was gone, so she would not have to do what she decided. Veronique did not want to hurt Nick, but she was of the opinion that she was saving him, saving her, saving themselves and their future.

Parking the car, she walked into the house. The cool breeze of the air conditioner caressed her skin and the feeling of home held her tightly. She exhaled, shutting the door behind her. It was so silent in the house with only the gentle hum of their air conditioning unit. Slowly, Veronique walked toward the bedroom, knowing that when Nick was drunk he slept till the afternoon, unlike his normal morning-self. She stood in the spot beside Nick, next to the bed, studying his face.

He was awake and was staring at her. No emotions seemed present. The way he stared at her, she would never forget it.

“I know you know.”

Nick’s voice was soft, as his hand shifted from under his head to cover his wrist. Veronique followed the movement, before returning her gaze to her husband’s brown eyes. Suddenly, she collapsed before him, her knees landing on the carpet, but Nick made no move to catch her. Their eyes were on the same level with each other.

“I-.”

“No.”

Her voice was loud and stern, echoing a dominance, as she took control of the situation. She looked at him, her blue eyes so hard. This was one of those rare moments that Nick, dare he admit it, felt scared. What was his wife going to do?

“Why didn’t you tell me, Nick?” Veronique was begging.

Nick sighed, his right hand grasping the sheet and pulling it up further across his body. His head was hammering, “I don’t want to lose you-.”

“Bullshit, Nick.”

“I love you-.”

“No. You don’t,” Veronique bit back, “Love does not mean lying to my face for the past couple years. Love does not mean that you can continue lying to me. Love with no trust is not love at all.”

“I wanted to protect you.”

“By lying to me?” Veronique sighed and her head fell to her forearm. Nick could barely hear her next sentences from her limbs muffling the sound from her mouth, “You cheated, Nick. We were together already before you met him. We never came first, though. I never came first. It was always him over me.”

“You don’t understa-.”

“I don’t want to understand, Nick. I could care less about your mark. It’s nothing. We were together. You cheated.”

“No-!”

“Do you love him, Nick?” her head pops up from her arms.

It is the first time Nick is quiet in response.

“Do you really want to stay with me, Nick?”

_ Give me freedom? Do I really want that? Fulfill my promise to Zak? _

“Answer me, Nick.”

Nick is silent. He does not know his answer. His wrist is itching.

Veronique growled and pushes herself off their bed, landing on her butt hard on the carpet, but she does not care. She is losing her patient with her husband, “I love you, Nick. I don’t want to do this, but I have to.”

“Veroniq-.”

“I have to do this,” she seemed to be trying to tell herself that, more so than Nick, “We will stay together. It will save your brand, save yourself in the public’s eye.”

“But-.”

“We’re gonna have a child.”

“No-.”

Nick realized his decision, but he was too late. Veronique could see this.

“Yes, Nick! You will do this. You love me. You want to protect me. Prove it. You made a decision for my life, destroying me. Now, I will do it to you. I’m making this decision for your life.”

“Veronique, please-!”

Nick sighed and laid back in their bed, his head pounding with a hangover.

“You don’t do this and I will ruin you,” Veronique’s hard blue gaze stared at Nick as she said this, “I will ruin you and him. I will take you down with me.”

Nick felt tears in the corner of his eyes, his right arm covering his face so she would not see his pain. She did not deserve to see it, “Please, don’t do this.”

“Have a child with me, Nick. Stay the fuck away from him. Oh! And you will not tell him about this,” Veronique stood up, her slim body standing over Nick’s in their bed, “That is my decision.”

Nick was left in silence in their bed. The air conditioner coming to life again, caressing his body in cool air. A single tear fell from Nick’s cheek. 

\------------------------

Their house is quiet on Nick’s twenty-fifth birthday. There will be no party today. Veronique is too focused on trying to get pregnant and Nick is just not feeling it to be with his friends. He has not been feeling it for a long time. His wrist has stopped itching. He has not heard from Zak… from his soulmate… from the one person he craves… in  _ weeks _ .

Nick’s mind is all over the place. He cannot focus on certain thoughts before jumping to another and his thoughts are simple and short. He just feels so numb. His wrist has stopped itching.  _ Zak. Zak. Zak. Zak. Zak. Zak. ZAK! _

Veronique enters their bedroom, scantily dressed in lingerie, but Nick is staring down at his wrist. She smiles softly, trying to get her husband’s attention. Then she realizes why Nick is staring down at his wrist.

“The enemies name appears on the person’s skin at the age of twenty-five,” she recites like she read it from a book.

Nick nods, “Yes.”

Veronique wraps her silk robe around her, tying the knot at her hip, and hiding the black underwear and bra set from Nick’s eyes. She walks over, sitting down next to him. Placing a hand on his upper thigh, she stares at his wrist too. They are waiting for the name to appear.

“Who do you think it will be?” she asks.

It is a stupid question, Nick thinks. How could he make a guess? It could be anyone! He stays silent. His wrist has stopped itching.  _ Zak _ .

They wait there for what seems like an hour, before Nick hisses in pain, “It’s starting.”

He knows this because it is the same feeling he received when  _ ‘Zak’ _ was written on his wrist so long ago. He forgot what it felt like. A burning hot iron pad beneath his skin. Fingers clench and knuckles go white. Little red crescents in the palm of his hand.

Veronique stares in wonder as black burst forth under Nick’s skin, like pen ink in crevices. It fills in corners of an invisible font, like the name had always been on Nick’s skin and it was just filling in the empty space. Nick’s breath is heavy, as he watches the name form. 

When it is done, Veronique is smiling, a glisten in her eye. Her heart is beating like she is on some kind of drug.  _ What a perfect twist _ , she thinks.

When it is done, Nick’s world has stopped. His heart breaks. His lungs stop working. He cannot breathe. Then, Nick’s world crashes down. He screams, his other hand coming to his wrist, fingernails clawing at the name, trying to peel it from his skin. He wants it to go away, but his fingernails are so dull that they only maul the name in white streaks turning red with time. 

Veronique shrieks, pulling at Nick’s arm to stop him from hurting himself, “Nick! Stop!”

“No!” Nick is screaming it over and over again.

Their house is electrified in their screams as Nick tries to maul his wrist and Veronique trying to stop him. The name on Nick’s wrist is not one he wanted to see. It is not one he thought would appear. It is a name he loves. How could he hate this person? 

Beneath the soulmate mark, in the same font as his soulmate’s name, is a new name, his enemies name. It reads: 

_ ‘Zak.’ _


	14. | CHAPTER THIRTEEN |

_ 2001 (4 years prior...) _

Nick is twenty-one and he is about to get married to the woman he loved for the past ten or so years. But, something is stopping him. He stares at himself in the mirror of the church’s dressing room, fixing his bow-tie and smoothing over the creases in his shirt and jacket. A knock at the door interrupts him. 

“Come in!” he calls out.

In the reflection of the mirror, Nick sees a figure enter the room and he smiles brightly at the sight of his DJ and, now, best friend. Zak is smiling just as brightly. 

“You ready, bro?”

Nick shifts his gaze back his bow-tie, “Yeah. I think so.”

“Alright. Let’s go. It’s time.”

Nick nods, swallowing the feeling that he is making a mistake, thinking it is just nerves, and turns around. Zak escorts him up through the church, past Nick’s family members and friends. Aaron gives him a thumbs up and Nick mirrors it back. Walking swiftly, Nick tries to catch up with Zak’s long strides and he eventually does as they are walking up the aisle. Dropping Nick off at the altar with a quick “see ya at the reception”, Zak gives him a wink before rushing back down the aisle.

The next few moments are a blur with Veronique walking down the aisle in white and Nick saying his vows and the pair of them kissing, sealing their union. All Nick can feel is a twist in his stomach. His wrist itching. All he can see is Zak in the back of his head.  _ Stop it _ , he screams at his head as he kisses his wife again, earning a laughter from the crowd.

At the reception, afterwards, Nick finds Zak first before his wife, in her sparkling white reception dress. He is standing in a tux behind his DJ equipment on one end of the reception hall. His hair is black and spiked, his blue eyes practically bedazzled under the multi-color lights. Nick can see the first button of his shirt is undone, revealing pale skin beneath it. Suddenly, Zak looks up, as if he knew exactly where Nick was and could feel Nick staring at him. A smile spreads across his lips. He grabs his microphone and brings it up to his smile.

“Give a warm round of applause to the newly weds!” his voice rings out.

Everybody’s attention is turned to Nick and Veronique and they’re clapping and Nick can hear Aaron’s very loud “woop”ing under it all. 

“Veronique,” Zak calls out to Nick’s wife, drawing both of their attentions to the dark haired man, “I’ve gotten to know you’re husband very well over the past few years since you hired me and he brought this up to me to help create for you,” Nick feels blush appear on his cheeks, but it was from the memories of those nights with Zak talking and drinking, “So, here is his gift, with help from me, to you. Congratulations, you two!”

A soft music tone crawls across the reception dance floor and swirls around Nick’s feet. His body turns to Veronique and they begin to dance, Veronique whispering in his ear how much she loves the collaboration of some of their favorite songs as a couple. But, Nick is lost in the feeling of those nights with Zak.

Later that night, when Nick is lying naked beside his sleeping wife, he wonders about Zak again. He stares at his wrist, removing the piece of fabric for a moment as if he is making sure that the name is still there. It has to be this Zak. This Zachary Bagans had to be his soulmate.

 


	15. | CHAPTER FOURTEEN |

_ 2005 _

Nick is twenty-five still, but he does not look it. He looks at himself in the mirror every morning and he is not sure who he is anymore. His beard is fuller, growing out along the edge of his jaw and up into his sideburns. His brown eyes are darker, too, like burnt wood. Skin pale, Nick looks like a walking skeleton. 

“Nick.”

The way Zak says his name, it is like ecstasy, impossibilities, falling water. Nick can hear the sound of Zak’s heartbeat beneath the feeling, the echo of a hospital monitor. He can feel Zak’s flesh beneath his fingertips, like their nights in hotel rooms when they were free.

_ When they were free…. When they were free… when they were free _ .

Nick glances up at the man he knew, staring into the blue eyes, watering like rain clouds, angry like the turning ocean of the bay in Boston. There was a time when Nick would reach out and sooth it all away; Nick could do that to Zak, make him see reason, make him remember he is only human, make him feel okay to feel broken and numb. Nick still wants to reach out and sooth Zak, like he always had, but Nick knows he has crossed a line that he can never undo. 

“I’m leaving, Zak.”

He tears his gaze away, refusing to look at Zak’s eyes for any longer. His fingers drift to his hand, playing with the cuff of his jacket. Instead, his gaze falls upon Zak’s living room. Nick winces with each pass over the couch, remembering all too well the intimate moments between them on that piece of furniture. Even now, Nick can smell the wood smoke in Zak’s hair and skin and he can taste the constellations he made on Zak’s back with his tongue.

“Please, Nick. We can work with this. We can be better. This means nothing.”

Nick shakes his head. He wants to tell Zak everything, tell him the truth of why he is leaving, but this will hurt less. Nick tries to tell himself that he is protecting Zak, protecting him from the public, protecting him from Veronique, protecting Zak from Nick.

“I’m your enemy. I’m leaving.”

“You’re my soulmate.”

His eyes beg for Zak to understand, to see the hidden truth, but Zak cannot see. Zak cannot see what he does not know is there. So, Nick decides to do the one thing that he never  _ ever _ wanted to do.

“I never loved you, Zak.”

The older man freezes, blue eyes staring at Nick. Zak is frozen in hope that he misheard Nick, but then it sinks in what he said. He lets lose a shaky breath, bottom lip trembling.

“I never loved you, Zak. I played you to get fame,” Nick does not realize he is crying, tears falling from his face, “I used you. I made you believe I loved you to get inside of you and bend you to my will.”

Zak rushes forward toward him, grabbing Nick roughly by his upper arms, “No! Stop it, Nick! No!”

“Yes!” Nick cries out, head thrown back. He refuses to look at Zak, so he stares teary-eyed at the ceiling.

“Nick! Please, no!”

“Yes,” he sighs, collapsing into  Zak’s arm, who willingly captures him in his embrace, “Yes, Zak,” they are silent, holding each other one last time. They try to remember everything about the other: brown hair, brown eyes, blue eyes, hard muscles, tattoos, sharp cheekbones, their names on the other’s wrist, “I never loved you.”

Hastily, Zak shoves Nick away, screaming, “Leave!”

Nick is silent as he watches through blurry vision Zak’s body walking away.

“Leave!” Zak screams, his body turned away from Nick still.

Zak’s cries echo across the large house and they mingle with Nick’s, swirling together in a dance of emotions and longing. They are there for a few moments, crying and heartbreak bouncing off the walls of Zak’s house. Nick, slowly, moves towards the door, unable to stand the noise; his movements are sluggish as his soul screams in his chest for his other half, but Nick grabs it before it can reach Zak and pulls it back into his chest, locking it up within. He refuses to ever let anyone close enough to unlock it. 

At the entrance of Zak’s house, Nick looks back at Zak, who is leaning against the dining table as his tears dot the top of it. His back is bowed, shoulders hunched, muscles straining against the black shirt that Zak was wearing. Nick wants to believe him, wants to believe that they could fight against Veronique and the public. Fight for their love like in so many fictional stories, but Nick knows that neither of them are brave enough, neither of them will risk everything. 

Life is not a fictionalized love story.

Staring at Zak’s back, Nick knows they both want to walk to the ends of the earth with the other. Be free. Stand on the edge of the mountainside and give the world the biggest middle finger it ever saw. Kiss beneath the bending sky, constellations glimmering above them like the night on the beach. But they are not free anymore.

“Remember, Zak. Remember me from when we were free.”

And Nick is gone.

 


	16. | EPILOGUE |

Zak is forty, now. He feels his age. He has felt it for the past twenty years, like his soul was aging faster than his body. Zak looks at himself in the mirror, stares back into those blue eyes, and wonders where he has gone. He does not recognize himself. He feels like he is looking at a different person with his face. 

Rarely, Zak looks in the mirror because, when he does, he sees that other person. He recognizes it as the person he sees in the footage for new episodes, who is impulsive and dark and cares about Aaron, Billy, and Jay  _ after _ they have been hurt. He knows why. He knows why. He knows why.

_ “Nick.” _

Zak looks down at his wrist, as he has done so every morning for the past twenty years, and he would cry and cry and cry, but he has run out of tears. He ran out of them a long time ago. He can feel Nick slipping through the cracks in his mind and he does not want to let him go. He’s too addicted to the pain  _ and _ to the ache in his chest calling out to be healed, but it’s a false tongue like a demon. He peers in at himself in the mirror and he can see them so easily, his demons, like fireflies igniting in his blue eyes. He can see that darkest desire of pain.

_ I want the pain to go away. I want to stop feeling it. I’m tired. I’m tired. I’m tired. I want the pain to go away _ , he thinks over and over and over again, but does he really?

Zak used to tell himself it was because he wanted to feel human and that pain is what makes him human. Nick used to make him human. Nick used to make him see reason amongst chaos. Nick used to make him care... Nick was his pain and his paradise and his love...

He’s so numb and his mind is a deadly torture cell where he brands himself with hot branding lies and spreads himself on the cold slab. He slits his skin open in decorative lettering of an abusers tongue, his own tongue, in a name. Nick’s name. 

The poets say pain is what makes him human and that, without it, he is not human, but a monster. He is a monster. To feel Nick is to be human. To lose Nick is to be a monster. And Nick was what calmed the beast within. Zak knows this  _ now _ .

Zak is too late to realize a lot of things besides the connection of pain and Nick-- he cannot have one without the other. Zak knows too many truths and he is too late. Zak knows what Nick was really doing in his house so many years ago. Nick  _ was  _ saying goodbye, but he was protecting both of them. Zak wishes he could change things.

He wants to breathe in pain and exhale a hoax.

_ Can I? _

_ I mean, do I? _

_ I mean, would I? _

There are days… minutes… seconds… every god damn year that Zak holds his phone and stares at the contact with Nick’s name. Will he pick up if Zak calls? Will Veronique answer with her forked tongue? 

There are days… minutes… seconds… every god damn year that Zak wishes he never met Nick so he would not feel this pain, but Zak knows that that is all words and no action. Zak would never wish that. His days with Nick were the best of his life. 

Zak stares into his blue eyes in the mirror and remembers the night on the beach when Nick confessed he wanted to marry Zak. He knew he should have just kissed Nick and pulled him to the GAC Van. Drove to Vegas and got married in the Little White Chapel or somewhere cliched. Nick’s marriage to Veronique bygone! Then they would drive to Virginia City. Get their old hotel room. Make love every night. Every hour. Stay in bed forever.

“I miss you,” Zak finally says, “I miss you so much, Nick.”

And for the first time in fifteen years, Zak cries again. His head is bent in sorrow, in mourning of what never could happen, in mourning of the man he loved and lost.

They thought they had forever, Zak and Nick. Hunting ghosts in the darkest pits of the Earth, discovering demons and spirits, and seeing the world. Zak should have known it was too perfect to be true. He was blind to what the universe, to fate, to destiny, to whatever you want to call it, could do to them. The universe was a cruel mistress. 

_ I thought I would love you forever _ , he confesses to the emptiness of his consciousness and, within his mind, he imagines what might have happened instead, imagines the Little White Chapel wedding. The Wedding DJ and the Boston Boy.

Zak imagines how their ending  _ should _ have happened:

_ Zak kisses him, like he did under the moonlit sky on the beach so many years ago, as they are united in marriage. Soft lips caressing his like Zak is the center of the universe.  Like Zak is the reason for the tide and the force behind life and death.  _

_ Around them are friends and family and everything is so black and so different. That was the best way to describe their wedding… Different. But all Zak can see is his husband in his tuxedo before him. No harsh words ever coming between them. No consideration for the future and the others around them.  Just pure happiness. _

His mind drifts from the happy dream to what may happen if his soulmate walked through the door of his house at this very moment. An alternative ending to their story. All handsome and beautiful and smiling brightly. Looking like he dropped from heaven. Zak knows he would look up at Nick with an equally bright smile as if these last fifteen years never happened:

_ “Don’t  _ ever  _ walk away from me again, Groff.” _

_ “Never again.” _

If only happily ever after existed…

 

| THE END |

 


End file.
